GenX Adulting (00:16)
Welcome to Gen X Adulting. And today we have Gina Scott Williams with us, also known as Gen X. Gina. Welcome, Gina.

Gina (00:24)
Thank you.

GenX Adulting (00:24)
We're so happy to have you here. Our first question is always, what year were you born?

Gina (00:31)
nineteen sixty six, October. I will be sixty this year.

GenX Adulting (00:35)
my gosh. Okay. So that's unbelievable because you don't look like you're about to turn 60 at all. And so does that make you one of the first no, the first is 65, I think, right? Okay. So you're you are. You are. But you don't look it. You don't look it at all. ⁓ okay, so where where were you born?

Gina (00:35)
Yeah. Thank you.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so I'm w almost OG. Almost. Yeah. Thank you.

Lubbock, Texas, up in the panhandle, where it's dry and flat.

GenX Adulting (01:03)
Okay.

And do you know how many generations back in your family, like why they settled there? Was it your grandparents, was your great grandparents?

Gina (01:11)
My mom was born in a little Texas town called Tahoka. And I think my gr I think the way they got there was my mom's dad, which my grandfather was a farmer and he was a cotton farmer and the cotton's out in Lubbock. So as you're driving into Lubbock, you see all the cotton. And so I think that's how they how they got there. Mm-hmm. I'm pretty sure. Because he lived in Leveland, which was like

GenX Adulting (01:17)
Okay.

Okay.

Gina (01:40)
Fifteen minutes from Lubbock. So I'm pretty sure that's how they got there so he could farm. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (01:44)
Okay.

And that was on your mom's side, your mom's parents?

Gina (01:48)
My

mom's dad. Mm-hmm. That's a complicated Yeah. Yeah, that's a that's a whole nother episode probably.

GenX Adulting (01:51)
Your mom's dad.

Do you know how your how your maternal grandparents met?

Gina (02:04)
No, I wasn't close to my grandparents. it was a weird dynamic. My my grandfather, who I was speaking about, was an alcoholic. And I don't remember him being an alcoholic. He was sober by the time I knew him, but there was no relationship really generated with either set of my grandparents with us, except for just visiting. Now, my mom's mom was a was mentally unhealthy.

And all I remember about Granny is her laying on the couch, pretty much drugged up. I mean, they put her in a sanatorium, like when she I don't know, it's a long yeah. ⁓ and all this today it would just be she was bipolar.

GenX Adulting (02:41)
wow.

Gina (02:48)
But back then you're crazy. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (02:49)
Yeah. Yeah. We

Yes. Well, I mean, women mental okay, first of all, mental health wasn't discussed at all. But women especially, that wasn't acknowledged. You think of all the women that had d manic depression, bipolar, whatever, and were just treated that way. It's actually heartbreaking when you think about it. So and that's when they had the ⁓ I was gonna say where they sent her. They don't even have

Gina (02:59)
Mm-hmm. Nope.

Mm-hmm. Yep. It is. So all I remember.

go ahead. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (03:18)
Do they even do that anymore? Like send people away? I don't think so. Sadly they're on the streets now, I think.

Gina (03:20)
No. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. No. But all I remember about her is is just laying on the couch with a dachshund on her chest, because we always had one. And you know, my my gr my stepgrandfather, Papa Cecil, ⁓ you know, fetching her things. Cecil get me some tea. Cecil get me, you know, that's all I remember. I was closer to my stepgrandfather than I was.

any of my biological grandparents. So mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (03:49)
that's so interesting. And did you live

close, like in proximity to where they were?

Gina (03:53)
They lived in Dallas.

They lived in Dallas and I wasn't here yet, but I was in Lubbock. And ⁓ so it was like a it's about a six hour drive. So we would come in the summer, you know, and stuff stuff like that.

GenX Adulting (03:56)
Okay.

Now, did your mom have siblings that live near you? Like did you have aunts and uncles?

Gina (04:11)
Yes.

Okay, so my mom's sister, Aunt Jackie, was my second mom, basically. Well, I had two second moms that were aunts. But Aunt Jackie, they lived, I have five cousins on that side. And they lived, they cleared some land in a little town called Navasota, Texas, that's like 20 minutes from college station where ⁓ Aunt is. And so they cleared some land and built a farm.

So when I was little, it was summers there because my mom was a single mom and she needed someone, she needed babysitters in the summer. And my sisters are nine, eleven, and 13 years older than me. So they were doing their own things by the time I was like 10. They're in college. They're, you know. And so I spent four to six weeks every summer at the farm. I mean, we're talking getting up at five with my uncle and milking cows.

gathering eggs, all the things that children dream of in childhood, I did riding horses. They had a little neighbor, Mary Lynn, who would take me on the horses. And that was what

saved me from the trauma of childhood, to be honest with you.

GenX Adulting (05:35)
Mm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that makes sense. And so that was for a good most of your summer, right? It sounds like.

Gina (05:38)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Until

until I was about, I think I quit going. They quit they like the farm quit existing. They they stopped like they sold other animals and and got rid of it. So I still went in the summer, but it wasn't the same, you know, with all the animals and stuff. But I think I stopped going for summers when I was old enough to stay home alone. Which Gen X, Gen X, you know, we're talking.

GenX Adulting (06:07)
Okay. Well Yeah, I mean for

the next eight. No, maybe six.

Gina (06:13)
Six. Yeah, because I used to walk home from I used to

walk home from first grade and stay by myself till five thirty. But I I mean like I didn't want to go anymore because I had neighborhood friends and I had friends that, you know, so I just got I kind of outgrew it. But those were the best times of my life. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (06:21)
yeah. yeah.

Yeah.

No, those early formative years, it does sound perfect. So you said your your sisters were significantly older than you. So are do you when your mom had them, was that the same dad as you and there was just a big space? Okay. So she had those your three sisters with their dad?

Gina (06:37)
Yes.

Mm-hmm.

No. No.

Mm-hmm. Yes, they my mom's first husband was and I can't I'm not gonna get into the to the other stuff until we talk about my childhood a little more, but ⁓ they were born to her and her first husband. And then I was born much later in a different story.

GenX Adulting (06:57)
Okay.

Okay. So

is it four four girls total?

Gina (07:23)
And I have a half brother too, who is actually fifteen years older than me, who's ex military, ⁓ who lives in Punta Corta.

GenX Adulting (07:35)
Okay. Okay. So now and are do they have the same dad, the ⁓ your half brother and your three sisters?

Gina (07:36)
Yeah.

No.

GenX Adulting (07:46)
But is it all the same mom?

Gina (07:47)
Yes, no. He's not Stuart is not my mom's biological child. It that was her stepson, but she was just as he was even closer to my mom than he was his own mom. And so we share a dad, but not really. Yes, by a lot. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (07:58)
Okay.

Okay, okay.

Gotcha. So you're the baby.

And but then growing up it sounds like ever all your siblings were significantly older than you. So was it more like you felt a little bit like an only child in the house?

Gina (08:19)
Yes,

very much, very much.

GenX Adulting (08:22)
And do you know how your mom and dad met?

Gina (08:24)
Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you about my biological father first. Okay. I never I never met I never met my biological father. ⁓ I I don't want to mess up that story, but I didn't know about him. ⁓ okay.

GenX Adulting (08:26)
Okay.

Okay, let's do that.

Okay.

Gina (08:40)
So ⁓

I don't know how they met. I really don't. but he was a alcoholic. She chose those alcoholics. ⁓ he was an alcoholic and lazy and he wouldn't get off the couch. And she told him one day, ⁓ either get off the couch and get a job or get out. And she never saw him again. And she she was seven months pregnant with me.

GenX Adulting (09:06)
Okay, so you never knew him.

Gina (09:08)
Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Even when I met, I'm telling y'all, ⁓ even when I met the children that I didn't know existed from him, which are five more siblings, I still never met him. They my half brother Gary, who I met and hung out with a little bit, wanted to take me to New Orleans to meet Ed, and Ed did not have the courage.

GenX Adulting (09:25)
Wow.

Gina (09:38)
to to meet me and to be honest with you I'm sorry I keep hitting this to be honest with you I don't care it it I don't care there's nothing about me that feels empty because I did not meet him he I I look at him as a sperm donor and that's it like I don't there was never any longing like an adopted child wants to seek out their their biological parent I never had that urge never never

GenX Adulting (09:38)
Mm.

Right.

Yeah. Yeah.

Now what when you met your ⁓ your one half sibling from your biodad, did were there any similarities between you and him that you recognized? You all look so so you

Gina (10:16)
We all look alike. We all look alike. Mm-hmm. Everyone from Ed has

strawberry blonde hair, the straight eyebrows, the darker eyebrows with the blonde hair, ⁓ this little crease when I smile. ⁓ I have my mom's eyes and that's about it. Everything else was from him. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (10:35)
Okay. So

that had to have been something though when you met your half brother to be looking at someone who looks so much like you.

Gina (10:43)
Well, the interesting part of that too, Nicole, is that my two, well, all three of my all three of my sisters, I I believe, went to high school with the two oldest from my bio dad's first marriage. They were the same age. So they went to high school together. Okay. So they were step siblings at high school, right? And then all of a sudden,

GenX Adulting (11:03)
No way.

Did they know that? Did did did they know they were related? Okay, all right.

Gina (11:12)
Uh-huh. yeah. They were had they were stepbrother and sister. They I wasn't

born yet. I wasn't born yet. Okay, so I my mom was pregnant with me, and they got married before she got pregnant. And so my sisters went to high school with ⁓ Gary and Brenda, who were my bio dad's children from his first marriage. And then all of sudden, he's out. My mom's still pregnant.

GenX Adulting (11:20)
Mm. Okay.

Okay.

Gina (11:42)
My dad steps in when my mom was eight and a half months pregnant, and all of a sudden these poor teenagers who were so excited about having a baby sister.

That's it. They don't and they could not my sisters could not talk about me at school. They couldn't ask questions. They couldn't show pictures. Nothing.

GenX Adulting (12:06)
Wow. Cause how old would the boys have been? Like would they have been like fifteen, sixteen, like that age when this was going over?

Gina (12:07)
Yeah.

mm, mm.

I would say

Sophomore junior.

GenX Adulting (12:21)
Yeah. That would be rough because you think you're getting this little sister, then all this upheaval happens. And these other three step siblings who are really, I guess, no longer your step siblings because the separation has occurred, they know about you and l are living with you and what's going on with you, but they can't tell these boys about you. That had to have been so traumatic for everyone involved, all those kids. That's that and

Gina (12:23)
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Mm-hmm. Yes, yes. Isn't

GenX Adulting (12:50)
But then she met your

Gina (12:50)
that crazy?

GenX Adulting (12:51)
dad. It is crazy. It is crazy. So and then she met your dad like a month and a half after your biodad and her split.

Gina (13:00)
See, my that was a setup ⁓ from friends. They set my dad, my dad and ⁓ my mom up on a date. And my dad was a charming

GenX Adulting (13:06)
Yeah.

Gina (13:16)
Love bombing, narcissistic, con man. Okay. So he swoops in, saves the day, takes on a eight-month pregnant woman with three daughters. My sisters say he was the best stepdad. And ⁓ my mom knew that before she met him, that he was in prison. She knew that.

GenX Adulting (13:18)
Mm.

Gina (13:44)
And he was a white, he was a white collar con man, you know, rob Peter to pay Paul, that kind of thing. You've heard that adage. ⁓ so she knew he'd been in prison, but here she was, a single mom with expecting a baby and three daughters to raise. So she allowed him to swoop in and save her. And she told me later it was always it was always in the back of her head that he's gonna screw up, you know.

GenX Adulting (13:51)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Gina (14:14)
He's gonna screw up.

GenX Adulting (14:16)
Keep in mind, this is the mid-60s. I mean, there are not a lot of options for women in general, except for secretarial work, nursing, maybe. I mean, we're talking, and it the women's movement and all had not happened yet. People don't realize that. It really hadn't happened. Women weren't really entering the workforce in the way they started doing in the late 70s and 80s, where it was encouraged and accepted. So yeah, she's in survival mode. She's got these three girls and a baby.

Gina (14:18)
Yes.

No no Mhm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. No. Mm-mm.

Right.

Mm. She lived her life

in survival mode. Every bit of it. From childhood. Mm-hmm. She had a rough childhood.

GenX Adulting (14:46)
Yeah. I would g I I would guess that. Well, right, 'cause you talked

about her mom ha had bipolar, right? And so

Gina (14:55)
Well, yes,

and she she and my aunt Jackie used to hide under the bed and watch their father beat their mother. I mean it was bad. Yeah. Yeah. So she lived her life in flight or fight ⁓ fight or flight mode, which is what I feel like I've done for the majority of my life.

GenX Adulting (15:03)
Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly.

Well, yeah, I'm sh and you're I think that's very consistent with our generation, especially so many of us went through mental, emotional, physical trauma, ⁓ or one one, two, or three of that. ⁓ and then the upheaval of divorce, of remarriages, ⁓ there's just and no one talking to us about any of it. It's just you just keep going, like it didn't happen. We're just gonna keep going, everything's fine.

Gina (15:23)
Yes.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Mm-mm. Nope. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (15:45)
but yeah, talk about fight or flight, ⁓ all of that. But ⁓ you were gonna ask something, I was yeah, well, two things. ⁓ what was the what was his motivation to come in and s and be the savior? Like what what was in it for him?

Gina (15:47)
Mm-hmm.

That's his MO. That's

image. Image. Narcissus narcissists, their most important thing to a narcissist is their image. And he was in a in a friend group. And a woman who was my mom's best friend, Pat, introduced her to him when he got out of prison. And

GenX Adulting (16:04)
Okay. He looks good. Okay.

Gina (16:24)
My mom needed someone to save the day and he he did. And to be honest with you, my sisters say he was a great stepdad. I have no memories of him because ⁓ that's a well we can get into that, but I did want to tell you a story real quick. ⁓ when I was 19, my mom was in the hospital and she had a lot of mental health issues, so she was in the hospital.

Quit digging in the couch. and I was I had taken my shift to go visit her and I came home to my mom's house. I think I lived in the dorm maybe, but I came home to my mom's house while my sisters went. And this is one of those universe control moments. Okay. You can call it a God moment if you're Christian, whatever you want to call it. I'm sitting in a chair reading a Texas Monthly Magazine.

And as if I had no control over my body, I got up, walked straight down the hall of my mother's house, my house, and went straight to her nightstand, lifted up some crap, and underneath it was an envelope that I had seen as long as I can remember that said Olin Mills, which is where we always got our picture taken, two o'clock. I'd I'd seen this letter in there, this envelope in there for years.

Never once had curiosity about it. It was an it was an appointment. Walked straight in there, took it out and read it. And it was a letter from my dad. Not my I'll say biodad if I mean biodad. ⁓ my dad saying, I know it's not my baby, but I wanna raise her I wanna raise it of my own. I wanna marry you, I wanna the love bombing letter, basically.

GenX Adulting (18:22)
Right.

Gina (18:23)
So that was my first

GenX Adulting (18:23)
Right.

Gina (18:24)
knowledge that my dad was not my dad.

GenX Adulting (18:28)
When you were nineteen.

Gina (18:30)
Yes. I had been lied to by everyone in my family my whole life.

GenX Adulting (18:31)
So that's how you find it up.

Because the sisters knew, because they were old enough, they were there when all this went down. Everyone knew. Yeah.

Gina (18:37)
That was a rough. Mm-hmm.

Everybody

knew. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (18:46)
Yeah.

So how did you confront who did you confront first?

Gina (18:54)
You couldn't my sister, I called my sister, my Lubbock sister, Nancy. I called her and just

I guess I was like just bawling so hard that she thought someone had died or something. She's trying to, you know, she's like, I can't understand you. Get your and I told her that I found a letter and knew that Lynn was not my dad. And she said, get over here. And she just lived, she didn't live very far away at the time. And she told me everything. And we cried together. And then she showed me pictures of

GenX Adulting (19:12)
Mm-hmm.

Gina (19:33)
The two siblings that she went to high school with. And I just, when I saw Brenda, the daughter, I just, I couldn't take my eyes off of her because it looked just like me. Like I just would, and it was I always felt like there was something wrong. Something's not right. I'm very intuitive. And even as a child, I would ask my mom, are you sure that?

GenX Adulting (19:36)
Mm.

Gina (20:03)
I'm not adopted because I'm the only blonde. ⁓ I somehow I was focused on that. I'm the only blonde. Everybody else has dark hair. And ⁓ I just didn't feel like I fit. And she would show me my birth certificate. She said, I bet I showed you your birth certificate 50 times. And it said October 10th.

GenX Adulting (20:12)
Right, right.

Yeah.

Gina (20:28)
1966. No, not. my birth certificate said obviously October and it had my dad's name on it. You can put anyone on there. You put anyone on birth certificate. So she always told me they got married on October 10th, a year before I was born. They got married on October 10th, and I was born on the 25th. So she had tricked me basically ⁓ to show me that yes, I did belong. Yes, I was her and yes, this was my father. And

GenX Adulting (20:37)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Gina (20:58)
⁓ so seeing Brenda's face and feeling like I do look like somebody made me there's there was this sense of belonging that I had never felt, even though it was catastrophically devastating to my psyche when this happened. Feeling like I do look like somebody had this, I had this new identity. Ident I had this brand new identity.

GenX Adulting (21:05)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Gina (21:29)
So it's crazy.

GenX Adulting (21:29)
I

I can't imagine the feelings ca talk about two ends of the spectrum because you're feeling betrayed and like the rugs pulled out from under you and completely disillusioned, I'm assuming. And ⁓ no foundation to stand, just like I would assume like emotionally, mentally falling into a pit almost. But then that knowing that that feeling negative your whole life that something's off, you don't totally f fit in this puzzle, and then finding the puzzle you fit in.

Gina (21:42)
Yes.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (21:59)
And the posit the weirdly positive feelings that come with that. How to meld that? Like how did you reconcile this? Did you is that when you met one of your biodads siblings? Or you're sibling with them?

Gina (22:01)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Okay, so

let me after my sister told me everything, she told my mom that I that I knew, right? And my mom, my mom couldn't talk about things. She just didn't have the strength. I mean, I don't I back when I look back, I think I blamed her for a lot of things that literally she just didn't have it in her.

GenX Adulting (22:21)
Yeah.

Okay.

Gina (22:42)
Back then, you know how our parents were, we didn't talk about important things. So my sister told her I knew nothing. ⁓ my sister told her I knew. And so my sister took me to my mom's house. And my mom, I'll never forget it. She laid on the she was laying on the couch looking straight ahead. She could not look at me. She could not make eye contact with either one of us. And Nancy said, you know, Gina knows.

GenX Adulting (22:46)
Nothing.

Gina (23:11)
⁓ blah blah blah. And then my mom said I did what I thought was right.

GenX Adulting (23:20)
And that was a

That's that generation. That generation they they they just didn't talk 'cause that's 'cause when when was she born, your mom? Was she silent jen or was she boomer?

Gina (23:34)
Yes,

silent. She didn't have me till she was thirty-four. So that was a that was really old to have a baby back then. So she was silent Jen.

GenX Adulting (23:36)
Silent Gen. Yeah.

Yes, yes. They but

they that generation didn't talk about anything. And so there's a rural aspect to this too. True. But it's you're out in the country in a way. Right. Right. So I'm sure

Gina (23:45)
Mm mm. No.

No, Lubbock's Lubbock,

no, it's not country. I lived in the city. Mm-hmm. Lubbock is a is a Lubbock is a city of 250,000. It's not a small town or anything, but it's it's still because of the university, it's a very cohesive community. everything is red and black for Texas Tech in the ⁓ in the fall. And so it's a real cohesive community, but it's definitely not country.

GenX Adulting (23:57)
It's a city? Okay. Okay.

Okay, okay. See how

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Probably what threw you off was that she spent time on the farm. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Which would probably be out at your aunt's house, but she was like on the outskirts more. Is that what that was?

Gina (24:22)
Yeah.

At my aunt's house, yeah. Mm-hmm. they just cleared s they just

cleared some land in the middle of nowhere in the forest and built a house. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, I

GenX Adulting (24:37)
that's awesome. So your mom

says I did what I thought was right and and that's it. And then you're left to process it all. ⁓ was your sister a huge support through you processing that or were you kind of on your own?

Gina (24:45)
Pretty much.

my gosh, shit. She probably saved my she

probably saved my life. She probably saved my life. But

GenX Adulting (24:58)
Okay. And how much

older is she than you?

Gina (25:03)
Nine years.

GenX Adulting (25:06)
So you're nineteen, so she's like twenty eight when this is going on about?

Gina (25:10)
Mm-hmm. She had babies, I know that. I know she had at least had Lindsay. So yeah. But before that, can we back up?

GenX Adulting (25:13)
Okay.

Yeah, yeah. I wanted to go way back because I was gonna 'cause you're I was gonna go we did, we did, and we'll c and we'll we'll it'll we'll come back up to the that point as well. ⁓ but so they get married and they have you and was your mom a stay at home mom?

Gina (25:23)
We've skipped a lot.

Okay.

No, he wasn't working. She had to work.

GenX Adulting (25:41)
Okay, so he's not so he doesn't have a job. That was the motivation. the house. Right. No you're not.

Gina (25:44)
Not my not my bi not my bio dad. He was sitting on the couch,

you know, drinking.

GenX Adulting (25:51)
No, no, but your your dad, your dad, when they got married and had you was he working?

Gina (25:54)
he was yes. yeah, he was a

yes, he was he made good money. He was a he what he used to be a long tra long haul trucker and then he became dispatcher and just moved up in the company.

GenX Adulting (26:05)
Okay.

Okay, okay. So was she a stay at home mom when he was doing that?

Gina (26:16)
I think so. I think so. I I don't know that. You know what? I don't know that for sure. I don't know that for sure, but I'm assuming.

GenX Adulting (26:19)
Okay, so she's raising you.

Yeah, like like

when you were little 'cause you said when you were little during those really those early years, let's say zero to five, it sounds like that's the summers you went to Aunt Jackie's, right?

Gina (26:36)
No, I didn't start going to Aunt Jackie's until I was about seven. I was I was a mama's I didn't want to leave. I was scared to ⁓ even spend the night people's houses. I was a homebody s that early. I I ⁓ I wouldn't have left. I I I think I had to at least been seven or eight because I don't think I would have left my mom. So I'm sure my sisters were babysitting me.

GenX Adulting (27:00)
Okay, so during

Okay. So your mom might have been home with you during those really early years home or maybe working, you're not sure. ⁓ but were your were your sisters gone though? Were they like already at college when you were that young? Or were some of them still in the house?

Gina (27:12)
I don't know.

I don't remember any of my sisters being in the house.

GenX Adulting (27:25)
Okay. So was your dad still in the house with your mom during those early years? Like that zero to seven year was he round? Not your dad but your dad.

Gina (27:37)
Till I was seven.

Till I was seven.

GenX Adulting (27:43)
Until you were seven. Okay. So you guys are kind of living like just a normal life, right? She's taking care of you. He's middle upper class. He's going work. Okay. Everything's humming along.

Gina (27:51)
Middle middle upper class, middle upper class. Mm-hmm. ⁓ they move apparently,

I don't have any memories, very few memories of childhood. Apparently, ⁓ they moved a lot into newer houses or better houses, or and then my mom would have a brand new Cadillac in the driveway, and then two weeks later it would be gone and replaced with a Lincoln Town car or a you know, so

That is setting up that's setting up the story of what happened when I was seven. My

GenX Adulting (28:21)
Okay.

Okay, so

there's a lot of moving around, new cars, new houses, and then what happened when you were seven?

Gina (28:36)
Well, the moving around and the new cars and then them disappearing and is because he was he was robbing Peter to pay Paul and and conniving and and stealing and embezzling and ⁓ then he went to prison when I was seven and I was told I was told they were getting a divorce. My mom was in her bathroom.

And I was sitting on her bed, and that's how she told me from her bathroom. We're getting divorced, and that's all I was told. So again, I began a life of lies till I was nineteen. No, till I was thirteen. Yeah, so everyone lied to me again.

GenX Adulting (29:19)
So wait, when she

told you okay, so instead of telling you he was going to prison, she told you they're getting divorced.

Gina (29:28)
And he's leaving.

GenX Adulting (29:29)
And and was he just kind of there one day and gone the next? Did he ever have like a closure convers so he never had a closure conversation with you of saying goodbye or anything?

Gina (29:33)
Apparently. No.

Now they took him straight from the courthouse.

GenX Adulting (29:44)
That's gonna say they don't say go home and say goodbye to your family and close off any local business. So not only gone. Right. So not only were you told we're getting divorced, but it's almost like we're getting divorced and he's gone. There's no seeing him on the weekends. He abandoned you. Is that what you were told? And so no. that's how you felt okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Relatable. ⁓ so okay.

Gina (29:57)
Yes, he abandoned you. Mm-hmm. No, that's how always that's my issues. That's my adult issues. Fear of abandonment. Yeah. ⁓

GenX Adulting (30:14)
So then he's just gone. And was was there ever a time that you remember asking your mom, can I see him or where is he? Or any of that?

Gina (30:16)
Mm-hmm.

You you

didn't ask your mom and I was so intimidated and protective of her feelings and she taught me to be fearful of confrontation or ⁓ important conversations because I watched her not have them.

So I I probably did, I don't know, but I would get letters from him from prison quite often. And I'm sure my little brain couldn't understand why can you write me letters, but I can't see you? I was told he was on the truck, ⁓ working on the truck. But why can't I ever see you?

GenX Adulting (30:48)
Right.

Yes, that makes sense. And he probably knew and but he probably didn't mention anything about prison in the letters, right? He was going along with the story. Okay. Okay.

Gina (31:15)
So I got I did get letters.

no. Mm-hmm. Now when I used when I looked

back, when I looked back, ⁓ I still had some of the letters after I found out, ⁓ which is the next part of the story. you could see in the address Huntsville, Texas, where the prison is. But the rest of it was my dad had beautiful handwriting and it was just this kind of scribble and then Huntsville, Texas, which I don't even know why I put a return address on it to begin with, but ⁓

GenX Adulting (31:50)
Yeah.

Gina (31:50)
I

would look back and go, Yep, it says Huntsville, Texas. That's where the big prison is in Texas, the federal prison. So, ⁓ but

GenX Adulting (31:58)
Okay. But you're little.

You you know, you're not gonna correlate that at that time.

Gina (32:02)
No.

And let me just tell you at this point, because it'll it'll get relevant later, it'll become relevant. ⁓ he was a third striker, he was sent to prison for life. But let me remind you, he was the third striker. But let me remind you that my dad was very charming. So let me just remind you of that.

GenX Adulting (32:15)
wow. When that happened?

Okay. Okay.

So that's gonna I have a feeling that's gonna revisit. Was that his third strike when you were seven? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So dur

Gina (32:31)
Mm-hmm. Yes. He was he wasn't coming out. He wasn't

coming back.

GenX Adulting (32:37)
During this time okay, so so that explains why the farm became such a safe space for you. Going out to the farm. Right.

Gina (32:43)
Yes, my aunt especially. My aunt did have important conversations

with me. My aunt cooked with me. She taught me things. She she was a teacher to begin with, but she loved me in a way that my mom never did.

GenX Adulting (32:49)
Yeah, okay.

Okay. So she filled that mother role. Yeah.

Gina (32:59)
Just different. Just yes.

And my Aunt Joo, who was my dad's sister. She's the one that was so protective of the secret. I was her baby. I was her favorite and everyone knew it. And I wasn't even her biological niece. But she was the one who was so protective of the ⁓ secret. And do you know, Nicole, that we never talked about it after I found out?

GenX Adulting (33:14)
Yeah.

Right.

Gina (33:28)
We never spoke about it. She knew I knew. I knew she knew I knew. But we never talked about it.

GenX Adulting (33:37)
Amazing. It's just it's that it's amazing how much we were reinforced to just grind through everything because there was zero space made for us to have any thoughts, emotions, anything about what was going on. No one made that space for us. It was just like you just keep going. I mean, because that's insane, right?

Gina (33:47)
Yes.

Yes. Yes.

I can sum it up I can sum

it up in one phrase. ⁓ go to your room if you're gonna cry.

GenX Adulting (34:10)
Yep. Yep. That's it. Yes.

Gina (34:11)
Go away if you're gonna have emotions.

Go to your room. You're I know you're four, but I need you to go to your room and handle your own shit. So if you're gonna cry, and I was a crybaby, that was my nickname. If you're gonna cry, go do it someplace else. Because I'm not gonna help you with it. So I tell people all the time, I can sum it up in one phrase. Go to your room and cry. If you're gonna cry, go to your room. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (34:29)
Yeah.

Gina (34:36)
You have to learn to cope on your own.

GenX Adulting (34:38)
One hundred percent. And it's or I would hear why it's kind of that whole be seen and not heard concept too. But I would also ⁓ I think a lot of us heard, ⁓ I'll give you if you're gonna cry, I'm gonna give you something to cry about. Which I never understood that. I'm already crying. But it's but it but it's so invalidating, right? 'Cause it's basically saying what you're crying about isn't worth crying about, but I can give you something which basically is threatening physical violence. Let's be real. So ⁓

Gina (34:44)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Is not important. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Absolutely.

GenX Adulting (35:07)
I have a quick question. Yeah. What is your family's background like like Irish or German or or Dutch or

Gina (35:12)
Mm-hmm. I'm Irish,

mostly Irish. My sisters, my Dallas sister, Rhonda, It's weird to see yourself go from not even knowing your siblings because there's such a age gap to becoming really close to them in adulthood. It's something very special. ⁓

GenX Adulting (35:16)
Okay.

Cool. Just cool.

Gina (35:32)
But

She bought me when twenty when 23andMe came out, she bought me a DNA test. She knows how important it is for me to know where I come from. And ⁓ it was ninety eight point nine percent Northern European, probably I think it was 70 something percent Irish, Scandinavian, all the things you would think looking at me, probably.

GenX Adulting (35:33)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gina (35:58)
Swedish,

Irish, yeah, yeah. Pretty much pretty much almost fully Irish though. And my sisters, ironically, were very similar. And that always made me feel good too. They had a little bit more of like a German and probably from their dad or something. They had a little bit more of ⁓ they were a little more pedigree than I was, but it that was a really cool experience. I would just stare at the DNA results. Like

GenX Adulting (36:18)
Right, right, right.

cool. What a what a what a beautiful gift though. She she totally was seeing you by giving you that gift. Like knowing how much all that means to you. Like that's so cool. That's so cool. What I can what yeah, what prompted my question is Nicole's always gives me a problem or hard time. She's like your family doesn't talk. And your your family doesn't talk either. So I was curious if there's some

Gina (36:28)
How this is yeah.

Yes, yes.

Yep. Yep.

GenX Adulting (36:56)
Yeah, but even my family didn't talk. I think some of that I mean, your family will go on where they don't talk for years over s one thing that happened. I mean, it's just silent, right? Some things just don't have to be discussed. Now this what this this is unique should have been discussed. ⁓ that everyone's in on it. So that's totally unique. Well, I was gonna ask you maybe not, but for us, I think to jump ahead, 'cause I think we'll do jump ahead, jump back quite a bit here. But to jump ahead, when you found out, did your aunt Jackie talk to you about it at all?

Gina (37:11)
⁓

Okay.

About the prison or the ⁓

GenX Adulting (37:28)
No.

When you found out he wasn't your dad wasn't your bio dad.

Gina (37:33)
No one talked to me about it, except my sister. No. It was it was no Nancy, my Lubbock sister. I babysat her kids, my nieces, ⁓ we lived in the same town,

GenX Adulting (37:36)
So she didn't either. Okay, except your sister. And is it is it is is it Rhonda? Is that the sister?

Gina (37:48)
But as far my recollection is that no one talked about it. I will tell you my Lubbock sister, Nancy, apologized profusely and was so sad. Sorry.

GenX Adulting (38:06)
No, it's fine, of course.

Gina (38:14)
They couldn't tell me. She said, I wanted you so bad. I wanted you so bad. You had a right to know. She was like advocating for me finding out. She said, I want I there was a dozen times I almost told you because I didn't feel like it was fair. But I knew mom would, you know, not be happy about it. So she didn't, but she wanted so bad to tell me, and she's the only one.

That apologized to me.

GenX Adulting (38:47)
You know, sh you you you bring bring up a really good point there. She was going through her own trauma from it because it was going against everything inside of her soul. And she loved you so much and felt protective of you. And then to have to keep that from you, that had to have been just destroying her as she's growing as she's, you know, going even though she was still young. I mean, she's older than you, but she's you're still you know, you look back now. You're still young in your twenties and in your teens. So ⁓

Gina (38:54)
gosh, yes.

yeah.

Yep.

Yes.

Mm. Yes, yes.

GenX Adulting (39:17)
As much as there was that relief probably deep down inside that you finally knew that she could finally talk to you about it, that anguish, I'm sure, you know, and and so probably letting her have a chance to apologize to you was a gift to herself too. Like she needed to do that. Yeah.

Gina (39:21)
Mm-hmm.

mhm, mhm. ⁓

for sure. You know, my sisters

had just as much trauma. They had a bio dad who was an alcoholic, another narcissist who pretty much wasn't a dad after the divorce. Money was his gift. ⁓ and they went through that divorce.

GenX Adulting (39:56)
Yeah.

Gina (40:02)
And then she marries Ed, my bio dad, and they went through that bullshit. And then they marry my dad. And for once, they have this stability in front of them that they've never had. They don't know they don't know about his history. They don't know that he's gonna screw up. They don't know all they know is they have money for the first time.

They have, you know, a nice car in the driveway for the first time. They have a stepdad who apparently treated them wonderfully for the first time. And all of it is yanked away from them. Yep. So they had just as much ⁓ it's it's different trauma, but it's still just as impactful as the trauma I had. And I don't discount that. Yeah, yeah.

GenX Adulting (40:43)
Yeah.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

And you know, and during that time you had mentioned how your mom had some mental health issues. Do you think she had similar mental health issues as your grandmother?

Gina (41:05)
Mm-hmm.

That's a good question. I think my mom's mental health issues came from stuffing everything inside of her instead of dealing with it. I I really do. That's why I I mean I'm open about my mental health. I am bipolar type two. I have socialized anxio anxiety disorder. I have ⁓

Probably on the sp I'm a little neurospicy, I think. But one pill took care of it. Like I'm on one little an anti-seizure medication and I've been fine for the last thirty years. So I feel like yes, and my mom struggled so much and with different medications and different so I have to believe hers was not a diagnosis like mine that can be

GenX Adulting (41:56)
That is so interesting. Wow.

Gina (42:09)
Fixed with a little pill. ⁓ bi bipolar is a little thing in your brain that fires wrong. It just fires wrong. And and an anti seizure medication calms that area of your brain. That's it. I mean, it's that simple. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (42:13)
It yeah.

Right.

That's so fascinating. I never knew that. That is so fascinating. Wow. What but

you don't think there's a chance? Because no one talked about mental health for her generation. You don't think there's a chance though? Maybe she had it and it was miss like never caught and she was just

Gina (42:40)
Could be.

I mean, I look back at the the symptoms of her mental health and I don't see a pattern like I had. Bipolar one, you're real up. Like people will do reckless things, they'll make bad decisions, they'll and then they just crash into bed for the next four weeks. That's how bipolar type one works. That's why one of my psychiatrists said you're bipolar, fill out this little questionnaire. And I had

GenX Adulting (42:51)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Gina (43:10)
been on every antidepressant for 20 years. It didn't work. And there was a reason it didn't work, but no one ever delved into that. And she said, You're bipolar. And I said, No, I'm not. I know what bipolar is. There, you know, you're high, you're low. And she said, No, what you just described to me is type two bipolar all day. Life is great, life sucks. Life is great, life sucks. I can do this, no, you can't. I your brain is on a hamster wheel of mood.

GenX Adulting (43:19)
Worse.

Gina (43:40)
Up and down all day. It's not up and down here constantly.

GenX Adulting (43:49)
Okay. Okay. So it's like a roller coaster just so that so then that medicine leveled that out.

Gina (43:52)
Yes. All day.

Yeah, it just stops that part of the brain that is causing that. It just silences it.

GenX Adulting (44:04)
That is amazing. That is amazing. I I've never first of all I've never heard of bipolar one and two. Yeah, me neither. I didn't know that existed. So the way you I always thought it was bipolar was one, how you describe one. Manic down. But with periods, right? A manic period. And then a down period. But then you're saying bipolar two is things are great, things aren't great, things are great, things aren't great. So I c so do you think you were

Gina (44:06)
Yeah, I know.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. All day.

GenX Adulting (44:34)
Was that right from the start? Like your whole life, your whole childhood? Were you having can you look back and think I was feeling this way through my elementary school years, my junior high years, my high school years? Was it like that?

Gina (44:46)
What I remember from those years is just intense anxiety. Like intense anxiety. I don't remember mood until it can be triggered by childbirth, pregnancy. It's most commonly diagnosed in ⁓ your 30s. And looking back, I believe it started late twenties, early thirties. Late twenties, yeah.

GenX Adulting (44:52)
Okay.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Do you think you were ⁓ undiagnosed ADHD as a child?

Gina (45:21)
gosh, yes. You're lazy, you're not applying yourself, you're unfocused, settle down, pay attention in class, quit talking was the constant one. I didn't know I was ADHD until about six years ago. I knew I was, but I hadn't been a diagnosis. And my I went into my psychiatrist's office and it was a new, a new psychiatrist. I love. Hi, Michelle. And she

GenX Adulting (45:24)
Okay.

Yes.

Yeah.

Gina (45:51)
She's she's watching me. Of course, they're very they what you don't realize how much they observe you. So we're sitting there talking. I'm like, I can't, you know, I'm I'm having a hard time staying focused on stuff and I can't complete a task. It's very frustrating. I'll start one thing, blah, blah. And I'm not thinking ADHD. And she's watching me and she goes, Well, for one thing, you're ADHD. I was like, What? She goes, Look at you. She's like,

Your your foot has not stopped moving since you got here. You're you're this is my emotional support lip bomb. I have to have something to do with my hands. Like she goes, you are you are blatantly ADHD. I said, no, because I'm I'm lazy. I'm not hyper. She goes, Gina, it's not hyperactivity in your body, it's hyperactivity in your brain. It's the first time I'd ever heard that. Your brain is hyperactive, not your body.

GenX Adulting (46:33)
Interesting. Okay.

Gina (46:51)
So when little boys they'd say, he's he's ADHD is hyperactive. Hyperactivity can can be a byproduct, but it is not that's not what it means. It means hyperactivity in the brain, not the body.

GenX Adulting (46:57)
Yes.

is so but but almost like if your brain is hyperactive is the body following suit yes because I'm a big

Gina (47:09)
Mm-hmm.

It causes your body. Yes. Yes. Your body doesn't know what to do with

all that.

GenX Adulting (47:20)
Right. So because it's almost like ⁓ they say the body the body keeps the score. There's a book and all that. But like for women, ⁓ a lot of us, me included, end up with autoimmune diseases because of being under constant trauma or constant stress or whatever. Right. So the body is going to ⁓ react even if you aren't like sure you can deny this or you can bury it, you can compartmentalize it, but your body's gonna deal with this. So that reminds me of your saying with ADHD, the brain is hyperactive.

Gina (47:21)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Me too.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (47:51)
And the body's gonna deal with it. So it's just kind of following suit, but it's

Gina (47:52)
Absolutely. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (47:55)
not once the brain's leveled out, probably a lot of that physical ⁓ symptom of it calms, I would assume, right?

Gina (48:01)
Mm-hmm.

Yes, I'm not near as ⁓ fidgety. I mean I if I'm doing something like this, or even sometimes if I'm making a video, I just like to have something to do with my hands. So I have my lip balm, which has become a fan favorite anyway. And ⁓ but I'm not like if I'm if I'm fidgety, it's most likely anxiety. It's probably not my ADHD.

GenX Adulting (48:10)
Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Gina (48:32)
It's most likely just anxiety. Because I'm

GenX Adulting (48:33)
Excuse me. Okay, that makes sense.

Gina (48:36)
a highly anxious person. So that's probably what it is.

GenX Adulting (48:40)
And you remember being anxious from your earliest memory what you can remember from your child because a lot of people who've suffered trauma don't remember their childhood. Like you can't like I know like Brian can tell me things. Yeah, same. Brian can tell me things from when he was eight and my stories are all trauma. Like I remember what I remember are the trauma parts and then I'll randomly be like, there was a basketball game in there.

Gina (48:46)
Yes.

gosh, ⁓ I don't remember.

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm,

GenX Adulting (49:07)
Or I remember having a sleepover, but I can't

Gina (49:07)
mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (49:09)
tell you much about my childhood except for those traumatic parts. And I I didn't know that was a sign of childhood trauma. Are you in the same boat though? You're almost saying you don't remember even some of the trauma.

Gina (49:13)
Right.

Yes.

I remember the conver the not conversation, but I remember sitting in my mom's bed and her telling me that they were getting divorced. I remember that. I don't remember him leaving. I don't ever remember him being in the home. I was told that I was a big daddy's girl. No memory of that. The only memory I do have of him so funny is sitting in his lap in a ch in a recliner, and I thought it was at my house that I grew up in, and maybe it was. They may have

GenX Adulting (49:35)
Right.

Gina (49:55)
got in that house right before he went off to prison. But I remember sitting in his lap, playing with his chest hair. I was probably three or four. And eating eating buttermilk and cornbread out of a cup with him. I remember that. Isn't that weird? That's all I remember. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (50:14)
Yeah. Now w when

he went when he went to prison, ⁓ did you guys lose the house? Like did your whole lifestyle have to change?

Gina (50:23)
No, my grandfather, my mom's dad helped her. Helped her. He gave her, you know, back then, two hundred dollars a month. That's your house payment. So he gave her, I think he gave her two hundred dollars a month, which paid her house payment and probably electricity. I remember her getting upset when her house payment went up to two sixty five.

GenX Adulting (50:28)
Okay.

Right.

That's amazing. I can't even imagine. That's amazing. my gosh. That's crazy. Well, I mean, so that's that's a positive.

Gina (50:48)
Mm-hmm. I know. I know. We're talking

Yeah. We're talking about a three bedroom, two thousand square foot house. We're not talking about a shack. Isn't that crazy? I just that blows my mind.

GenX Adulting (51:01)
Wow. Jeez.

That is crazy. But that was like what early seventies? 'Cause I'm thinking you're seven. You're born in sixty six, so early seven. Yeah, so ⁓ yeah. So okay, I know the farm was like a a safe place for you. Good memories. When you were in school, was school was there anything about elementary school or middle school, junior high? I'm not sure what you called it. but that time

Gina (51:09)
Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep. Early seventies. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (51:31)
Where whether it was through sports or clubs or art or theater or a teacher or academics, did anything else help balance out what was going on at home, it in school or was that just as traumatic?

Gina (51:43)
Not school. ⁓ I was teased horribly ⁓ about being too skinny. I was called, you know, to ⁓ tapeworm, totem pole, skinny bones, you know, all the things. And so say school was not a safe place for me until high school when I just became the class clown and

And I but I was never I never had the self-confidence to join any groups, any clubs, become I'm not if you've ever seen me run, you would never ask me if I played sports. People are like, you're so tall. I bet you played basketball or volleyball. I'm like, girl, no. So no. But I never had the self-confidence to always wanted to be in theater. Shocking, right? ⁓ and I didn't have the I didn't have the self-confidence to do anything like that.

GenX Adulting (52:28)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Gina (52:39)
So I wasn't popular in high school. I was just the tall, skinny, funny girl, you know.

GenX Adulting (52:47)
are you?

Gina (52:48)
Bob Chan.

GenX Adulting (52:51)
Okay, so you're well it Yeah, that's not like crazy tall. Like you mean it's tall, but it's not you're not like six two, six three.

Gina (52:58)
People assume if you're over five seven you played sports. I think that's the it's gotta be. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. But

GenX Adulting (53:03)
If you're a girl.

Interesting. That's that's well, did you have a at least one or two best friends or a social circle to lean on during those years?

Gina (53:17)
Okay, so this brings us to brandy. Okay, when I was

Nine, she moved in two doors down from me in Lubbock. And one day, my brother-in-law tells it the story best because he was there. she just comes to my front door, four years old. No parent with her, nothing. ⁓ so she comes to my front door, she knocks on the door and she goes, Hi, my name is Blandy.

Do you have any kids here? And so my brother-in-law is like, ⁓ yeah, we've got a little girl here. She's seven or eight, whatever, eight or nine, whatever it was. And I come out and I'm like, what would I do playing with a four-year-old? Well, then I realized this is the little sister I never had. And it has been one of the

best relationships of my life. I feel like Brandy was my sister. ⁓ we call her the fifth sister. and she would do anything I told her to. We would play anything I wanted to. It was like having this little because she at that age she admired me. I was older. And then as as we as we got older and the shift came to spring break, woohoo.

GenX Adulting (54:44)
Yeah, of course.

Gina (54:50)
It was she was my caregiver. She was my the roles were complete role reversal. She'll she'll still say stuff about try to keep her under control, you know, so she became like the parent. But Brandy is my oldest and dearest friends. We're going on ⁓ 50 years, 50 no, yeah, like 53 years or something like that.

GenX Adulting (54:57)
Right.

Gina (55:20)
54 years. She's yes, she still lives in Lubbock. So and she's married. And ⁓ she lives every time I go to Lubbock to see family, you know. Of course I see Brandy. She just comes over like the, you know, she's a family member. She's definitely a family member. I was her maid of honor. Yeah. She got married. She got married pretty recently. She was unmarried till she was almost 50, or maybe she was 50. And

GenX Adulting (55:21)
That's amazing. That is so rare.

That's amazing. ⁓ That's cool.

Gina (55:47)
found her Prince charming and so I was she was my maid of honor and I was hers and ⁓ we have that just that we can go months without speaking. And when we do, it's just like no time has gone by, you know. So yes.

GenX Adulting (56:04)
Those are my favorite friendships. Those are

my favorite friendships. I have a couple of friends like that where we could go six months without speaking. And when we do, it's like we were just talking to each other. And I tell my my daughter especially, I'm like, 'cause she's starting she's twenty five and she's starting to now have a friend or two like that. And I'm like, those are the best friendships. Because it stands the test of time. You know that that woman is gonna be in your life going forward. And it's such a forever.

Gina (56:12)
yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Forever. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (56:34)
Such a wonderful feeling. It's one of the reasons

Gina (56:34)
Yes. Yes.

GenX Adulting (56:36)
I really love ⁓ the voice memo option on the phone because I'll just talk and send her like 15 minutes of just updates and just send it off. And then a couple days later I'll get a voice memo. I love that. It's a great way to stay in touch. So okay. So were you were you and Brandy ever in school together or did you always just get out when she would be starting? It sounds like.

Gina (56:40)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, we were

never in school together. So in fifth grade, ⁓ I had

A new best friend, Natalie, whose birthday is today. 60th birthday. Happy birthday, Natalie. She she and I were attached at the hip at school, ⁓ after school. I was her safe place apparently. My house was. There was a lot going on at her house that I didn't know about. And ⁓

GenX Adulting (57:12)
happy birthday, Natalie. Wow. ⁓

Gina (57:34)
You know, we'd spend the night with each other mostly at my house, her safe space. And then Brandy was my all the time friend, but Natalie and I were the best, we were school friends. And you know, we grew up, we grew apart in adulthood. She moved off. We lived in the dorm together our first year in college. And whoo, boy, was that a lot of fun. Holy smoke. I'm surprised. I'm surprised I survived because I came out of high school green as the grass.

GenX Adulting (57:47)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Gina (58:04)
Never drank, never went to parties, never none of that. And then moved in with Natalie. Yeah. I was I was not the typical Gen X high schooler, that's for sure. I dated my ex husband all through high school. And we didn't we just hung out with each other.

GenX Adulting (58:08)
Wow, okay.

Okay, so

so when did you was he your first boyfriend?

Gina (58:24)
serious boyfriend, yeah. Yeah. And we were juniors, I think. Yeah, we were juniors in high school.

GenX Adulting (58:27)
And when did when Okay.

So you you guys start dating and then it's pretty much you two. And w was he

Gina (58:32)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we weren't in the party

group, you know.

GenX Adulting (58:38)
Okay. Was he simil did he have s any similar characteristics to your dad? Or was he the opposite?

Gina (58:48)
⁓ now Chris was

He was spoiled. Like his parents spoiled him, but he was a good guy. ⁓ he's now he has, you know, some issues and stuff, but back then he was a good boyfriend. He was a really good boyfriend. He's the father of my two older children.

GenX Adulting (59:12)
So probably when you met him or you ⁓ started dating him, he was became another safe space for you, I would assume, because was that the first real male figure in your life in so long at least that was stable and consistent and there for you?

Gina (59:30)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-mm. My and that wasn't even close to my well, I mean, my Papa Cecil, when I tell you I was closer to him than any of the others, doesn't mean we were that close. We didn't have it like in conversations. And he just was really sweet and he took care of my mom. And that was, you know, his step he didn't have any children of his own. And so he really dug his teeth into my mom and her sister as his children. So, but Chris was

GenX Adulting (59:32)
Or besides your grandfather maybe? Yeah.

Yeah.

Gina (59:59)
Probably and his family. He had ⁓ he has a he has a great family. His mother was always good to me, his father was always good to me. ⁓ but they're again, they're a family that doesn't talk about important things. And so there were some issues there ⁓ with his behavior with things they didn't know was going were going on and you just don't talk about stuff like that. So ⁓ but he probably you're probably r you know, you're probably right. He probably was.

GenX Adulting (59:59)
I think.

Yeah. Well I mean

Gina (1:00:27)
A stable male fee. I'd never thought about it like that.

GenX Adulting (1:00:31)
Well, I think it would make sense. I mean, all of us I okay, so speaking for myself, my high school boyfriend was like that first 'cause I had abandonment issues. So he was that first consistent and we very much became together, right? Like we were so social. And high school couples in general get very obsessed with each other and all that and they're spending all their time together. But you had those couples that were able to still assimilate and be with the group every weekend, and then those couples that were more like just us. And so and sometimes I wonder.

Gina (1:00:54)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:00:59)
you know, like for you, that kind of makes sense because there's this stability and ⁓ so it makes sense that it kind of would just be the two of you during those years and maybe you wouldn't you maybe didn't even have a desire to be out there with everyone because you know, also your social anxiety might have been playing in there too without you even realizing it.

Gina (1:01:20)
Well, I don't know that I had a lot of social anxiety back then. I will say my ⁓ Chris was a drummer, very, very talented drummer. And he played like five in he plays like five instruments by ear. Like he doesn't even read music. So he was in jazz band and stuff like that. But he was a drummer in bands. So we were always

GenX Adulting (1:01:39)
Wow.

Gina (1:01:48)
going to see his gigs as we got older. When we got older, when we turned 21, that's we were, you know, I was at his gigs every weekend and he had really good bands. And so I became real social for that. I I'm not sure. I think my social anxiety, Nicole, is more not social in the aspect of going out and having fun with friends. It's more

GenX Adulting (1:01:55)
Right.

Gina (1:02:17)
Being in a cla in a in a auditorium classroom at school, at college, and not knowing anyone, and then I have this, you know, my insecurities feeling like everyone's looking at me or talking about me or thinking this about me, or I think when I say social anxiety, I think it means more of a social environment, but not necessarily out seeing a band. If that makes sense. Okay.

GenX Adulting (1:02:45)
That makes sense.

Now, d do you get anxiety about the idea of having to talk talk to people?

Gina (1:02:51)
Yes.

⁓ not anymore.

GenX Adulting (1:02:58)
Okay. Did so so the the concept of being around people and having c and and talking to them, having conversations, that doesn't cause you anxiety. But it's more being in a dropped into a situation you maybe feel you don't know anything about and feeling the insecurities. Like almost like an imposter syndrome anxiety.

Gina (1:03:13)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But I'm not really like that anymore. ⁓ I don't see myself that way anymore. I don't see I see myself very open and I I'm a I'm a really good counselor for my friends and I, you know, I think my youngest daughter feels like I'm too much of a counselor.

GenX Adulting (1:03:18)
I don't know if that makes sense.

Gina (1:03:44)
maybe not enough of a mom and too much of a counselor, but ⁓ I'm a good ear. People come to me for advice and for, you know, that kind of stuff. So I feel like I have a very open demeanor. And you could drop me in a room with people that want to have intellectual conversation and I would be fine. Drop me in a room where like I'm going to see the Gen X take over

GenX Adulting (1:03:45)
Mm-hmm.

Gina (1:04:13)
sh comedy show when they come to Dallas in September. I haven't met any of them. I'm super excited about that. But like being dropped in that environment and and being told, hey, you know, Gen X Gina here, stand up and wave, I would be a little bit like because the it's been difficult for me having fans and stuff. I don't understand it. If does that make sense? Like if that

GenX Adulting (1:04:16)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, they're awesome.

Absolutely.

Yes. Yeah because

Gina (1:04:42)
I'm just a you know, I see myself

differently than I think people see me, maybe. I don't know.

GenX Adulting (1:04:49)
I think I think that's kind of an imposter syndrome thing. Almost like, do I deserve this adoration? Or I just deserve the it's it's that and that's that imposter syndrome. and it's funny because we've had dad bod on, we've had the professor, and we've had Sherri on, ⁓ the Real Slim Sherri for listeners who may not know, and they all kind of touched on that too a little bit. And but one thing that I think is

Gina (1:04:52)
Mm-hmm.

Yes, yes, yes. Yes.

Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:05:19)
a way to look at it is what you're giving them, that's you're giving them a space to kind of escape whatever's going on in their daily life. and you're also seeing them and validating. Cause for Gen X especially, no one saw us, no one talked to us. We were pretty much ignored, forgotten. And it's almost like now where especially with social media, we're all able to like say, my God, you had that happen too. You had that happen too. You feel that way too.

Gina (1:05:34)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yes. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:05:48)
We

didn't know we were having a shared experience when we were having it. We thought we were the only one. And not knowing no, we all were going through it. And so now what you do is is you're sharing that and helping people feel validated through what you're doing. And so when they're coming to you with that adoration, it's almost ⁓ it's not it is about you, but it's almost about the way you make them feel more than you. Does that make sense?

Gina (1:05:50)
Right. Right. Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yes. And I get comments all the time, ⁓ especially from women that are like, I've been going through this, I've been going through cancer treatment, or I've been going through a divorce, or I've been going through this, and I can't tell you how much joy you have brought me and how I mean, I have had one lady tell me I saved her life. That that kind of stuff is like, whoa, that's a lot of responsibility.

It it it makes me feel I it is a it's a worthiness thing. I think I think you're right. It's a worthiness thing. Do I I view myself as just a girl having fun on the internet and I was telling my sister, and I think this this is true for probably a lot of people, when I edit my videos and I'm look and I'm watching myself.

GenX Adulting (1:06:42)
Yeah, right. Yeah.

Gina (1:07:03)
That's not me. That's her. Okay. So I'll be like, gosh, she's funny.

She she's really funny and that I well that's me. Or it it there's this disconnect. There's a disconnect of of viewing myself as someone else online.

GenX Adulting (1:07:22)
It's interesting 'cause

Yeah, it's reconciling that that is you and that is that imposter syndrome and that worthiness of like she's funny, but it's also then moving into I'm funny, I'm funny, I'm worthy of what's happening because I'm producing it's coming from inside of me. But in order for you to probably I think that's so Gen Xo, but in order for you to process it, it's she's funny because you just it's just so hard.

Gina (1:07:31)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

GenX Adulting (1:07:55)
'Cause we weren't raised to like be proud of ourselves or you know, we do it with our kids, like everything they do. That's amazing. No one, you know, no one did that. No one built us up and so it's it's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable.

Gina (1:07:57)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

A that's a perfect way to describe it. It's ⁓ it causes me a little bit of discomfort. Now I'm getting better about it. My sister has really helped me with that. my Dallas Rhonda, she's really helped me with that. ⁓ accepting the fame attached to what I'm doing. People now recognize me in public.

I walked into a casino in Oklahoma and the girl at the door was like, my God, I follow you on Facebook. And then the friend I was with, her coworker came up and was like, You're Gen X Gina You know, it's happening. I walked in to get my nails done the other day. And the lady was in there and she goes, my gosh, I follow you on Instagram. I was like, so that's it almost makes me there's like a joy to it, but then

GenX Adulting (1:08:48)
Yeah. Yeah.

Gina (1:09:03)
The joy gets capped with the uncertainty of the worthiness, if that makes sense. It's it's a it's a really interesting dichotomy because at first I'm like, I got recognized. And then it just starts coming down as well, what if who says they even like your content? Maybe they don't even like your content. They just recognize you. The doubt. You know. Mm-hmm. Yep.

GenX Adulting (1:09:10)
Right. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, the self-doubt. And

I wonder how much of it is ⁓ I don't know. I always grew up waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like even with something was good, I'm like something's gonna go bad. And I almost would like ⁓ fixate on what all the things that could go bad to make sure I'm prepared for when it does. You know, and ⁓ and I'm a big believer in thoughts, create your reality. All that I think I already said that so, but ⁓ so I've worked hard the last especially five years to not let my

Gina (1:09:37)
y I'll ⁓ yes.

Mm-hmm. yes.

Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:09:56)
thoughts go in that direction and to try to be present and really enjoy whatever is happening in front of me. But I can't imagine getting recognized and having that energy, that's a lot of energy being thrown at you that you kind of have to process in that moment. It's not like you can be like, hold on a second. I need to give me a minute. You need to be able to have a reaction back and process that. And I'm sure, I'm sure that goes on for like a day or two after if you have a lot of people come at you, you probably have to process it, I would assume.

Gina (1:09:58)
Mm-hmm.

Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I was recognized at work yesterday and that was uncomfortable. I don't want to be recognized at work. I don't want people to be able to find me. I don't want, ⁓ I don't even share what I do for a living specifically. So to be recognized at work was a little ⁓ frightening, to be honest, a little ⁓ scary. And he was very nice. He he said, ⁓ my gosh, he goes,

GenX Adulting (1:10:27)
You know.

Right.

Gina (1:10:52)
I love your content. I follow you on Facebook. I was like, thank you. But then I wanted to get out of there. I want I and actually should have probably told him, hey, don't, you know, don't mention anything about meeting me here or, you know, and the next time I see him, he's a he's a he's regular there. I think I will ⁓ say something to him, like, you know, I don't really want pe and I'm sure maybe he wouldn't, but there's that doubt of

GenX Adulting (1:11:09)
Yeah.

Gina (1:11:20)
What if he tells so and so and then everyone finds out where I work, you know, that kind of thing. So

GenX Adulting (1:11:25)
Yeah, it's

it's probably put figuring out how to keep those boundaries up. And there's and probably that hesitancy, as much as it's that joy of, they recognize me, but also that protection protectiveness about yourself. Like, I only want to expose so much of myself. You know, and and in real life, you have to be careful of almost it's almost premeditating. It's almost probably like a script you have to create for yourself. Like when I run into a fan.

Gina (1:11:36)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Yes.

GenX Adulting (1:11:53)
These are the things how I'm gonna react. And then it's gonna stop here. So that you don't inadvertently expose more of yourself than what you want. I don't know if that makes sense.

Gina (1:11:56)
Mm-hmm.

Because I'm

I'm ⁓ I do give away too much. Like ⁓ I cr I created a group on Facebook. It's called ⁓ Gen X DFW Locals. So it's Dallas Fort Worth. I need to change the name because I have people from Timbuktu trying to join. I'm like DFW means Dallas Fort Worth. But anyway, we've had two meetups. So I'm actually creating a group, creating a community within my

GenX Adulting (1:12:17)
Mm-hmm.

Gina (1:12:30)
surroundings and bringing people together, my followers get to come hang out with me, building community. And that has been really cathartic for me accepting the

GenX Adulting (1:12:32)
Right.

Gina (1:12:51)
I don't want to say fame because that that that's not that's a stronger word than I'm seeking. The recognition or the recognition, like these people want to come hang out with me. So I think that's helping kind of accept that you're a public figure now. And you gotta find ways to to cope with that. You put yourself out there and now figure out how to handle it, you know, that kind of thing.

GenX Adulting (1:12:56)
The adoration, the recognition. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And and the th the way with social media is that it could grow so quickly qu faster than ⁓ you even can start to think how you're gonna handle it. Like your fame could be superseding, you could be catching up. Like, hold on a minute, I gotta figure out how to handle this. I think that ⁓ meetup is great. It's almost like a baby step in a way, you know, because yeah, 'cause I know you have ⁓

Gina (1:13:28)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (1:13:42)
And we'll get there once we I wanna I'll I'll bring that up, but go ahead. Or just a thought on this. Yeah. Do you think it's imposter syndrome or more like I don't know how the hell make sense of this? It doesn't make sense that all these people wanna be around me. There's slight difference there, I think. Yeah, yeah.

Gina (1:13:56)
Yeah, it doesn't make sense. It it

it doesn't make sense. It just doesn't make sense to me. Like it I'm just Gina. Like, I don't it doesn't make sense to me. That's a great way to put it, Brian, because that's kind of what I'm seeking. The a way to explain it. It doesn't make any sense to me. I'm a boring homebody dog mom who just has

social life when I want one who doesn't want a relationship, doesn't want to put forth that effort, just I I don't see anything

To be admired. And that sounds so awful. But except for my online persona. And I'm not saying I'm not me online. I'm just a really funnier sarcastic version of me, but I'm still me. I still tell my story. I still tell stories. I still am open. There's probably not a question you could ask me that I wouldn't answer, except the things we've discussed. There's probably just nothing about my childhood. I truly believe.

Every single person has a story to tell and they have every right to tell it, even if they just tell it, even if they're comfortable telling it to one person. I've had people, I my my my story has that video has started circling again. You know, have I just kind of every once in a while you have a a video of yours start pumping out views again. And I've had people say, Thank you so much for sharing your story.

GenX Adulting (1:15:17)
Yeah.

Gina (1:15:34)
Because it makes me feel better about my story. And every time in every comment I write, you have a right to tell your story. It's yours. Do with it what you want to.

GenX Adulting (1:15:48)
Yeah. Kind of goes into what you were talking about. It maybe isn't a it's a reflection of how you make people feel, how they respond. She's validating. You're validating them by acknowledging, hey, you have a right to tell your story and I'm an open book with mine. And well, I think also seeing ⁓ Gen Xers, especially Gen X women doing this inspires other Gen X women.

Gina (1:15:58)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:16:18)
to find the courage to even like you just said, even tell their story to one person. Because so many of us were quiet, compartmentalized, grinded through. So it's almost like having peers put themselves out there, then it kind of emboldens us to say, okay, well I can tell I can talk a little bit too. Let me tell someone about what I went through or sh she went through that. So I'm not weird because someone else went through it. So okay, maybe I can talk about it.

Gina (1:16:44)
Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:16:47)
And that then you really get down to y you're helping people on a healing journey if you really think about it. Though and that is powerful stuff.

Gina (1:16:52)
Yes. Yes. And

And that's a comfortable place for me. That's a comfortable place for me because I am by nature a counselor. That's what my degree's in. I I'm by nature someone who wants to help others handle their shit.

GenX Adulting (1:17:14)
Yeah. Yeah.

Gina (1:17:14)
Sometimes is it deflection?

Sometimes is it deflection? Has it been deflection in the past to not handle my own shit? Probably. Probably. But now I've accepted my past. I've accepted who I am. If you don't like me this way, you don't have to. You don't have to like me. I don't need you to like me anymore. I needed people to like me in the past. I don't need that anymore.

So when people, you're just online to get attention. But no, I'm online because my dream was to be on Saturday Night Live and be funny. Like, I get so sick of looking at my damn face when I'm editing. I'm like, my God, this isn't this isn't like an attention-seeking mission. This is a getting to live a very small dream by entertaining audience, which is what I told I told Sherri in a comment the other day, I said,

GenX Adulting (1:18:00)
⁓

Gina (1:18:13)
You guys up on stage doing this, you are living my dream and thank you for letting me live vicariously through you. Because, you know.

GenX Adulting (1:18:21)
Yeah.

I think it's I think ⁓ right now is when so many Gen Xers are finally deciding, okay, I'm gonna go for my dream because if I don't now, when? And so seeing, like I said, seeing Gen X peers out there doing that just gives the rest of us courage to you know, and and it's funny because ⁓ I think what you're doing is through the validation.

Gina (1:18:32)
Mm-hmm.

Right. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:18:51)
and ⁓ resonating with people and helping them feel seen, I really do think it is healing. And so that is where you can find some sense in it. Is that's what you're comfortable with, is helping people heal. And ⁓ that's kind of what you're doing there because by that little part of s everyone, maybe it just triggered them to just talk to one person about one thing that happened to them.

Gina (1:18:59)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

GenX Adulting (1:19:19)
And that's

the first step in it all. So that's that's it's all it's all in humor, but yeah.

Gina (1:19:22)
You need to, you've got to, yes,

you have to remove the shame. Your story isn't all your fault. You shouldn't have shame because shame is destructive. Shame will destroy your your self-worth. It will destroy your self-confidence. And by telling your story openly, honestly, forthcoming, not leaving anything out.

GenX Adulting (1:19:30)
Yes.

Gina (1:19:52)
You are removing the shame that you had attached to your story. I don't have any shame attached to any part of my story anymore because I've gotten it out there. That's why I say if you have a story, tell it even to one person, even to a friend that you've never told or a coworker, anyone that you feel safe with that that you know isn't going to go spread.

You know, if you're worried about them talking to other people or something, someone you feel safe with, get it out. And I promise you, the first time I told my story about my mom, my about my dad being in prison, it was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I was shameful. Why? I'm not the one who did what he did. And and I will say, I'm gonna back up just a minute. When my mom said, when I we haven't told that part of the story yet, but my mom said,

I knew that I was doing the right thing because if I'd have told you at seven years old that your dad went to prison, you would have told little Sally at school, who would have told little Jessica, who would have told little Billy. And she's right. She was protecting me. So the anger I had attached to the secrets and to the lies.

I would have done the same thing she did. But I would have told me later without me having to find out. And that's another story how I found out. But but she her not telling me in the beginning, I appreciate now because if everyone had found out, I would have been ridiculed, I would have been teased, I would have been d you know, nicknamed. And so I I appreciate that from her now. There's a lot of things I appreciate about my mom now.

GenX Adulting (1:21:20)
Right.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah. No, it makes that makes perfect sense. And I think you're right. I think I think all of us would have done that. Like I don't think we would have told our seven year old your dad's gone to prison. I think we would have figured out now maybe we all would have done it in a different way, but it's still differently. But I think I love what you said though about the shame of our story is not ours to carry, basically. And and I it's realizing that is that it has it's not ours.

Gina (1:22:01)
Differently. Mm-hmm.

Mm.

GenX Adulting (1:22:16)
It's okay to talk about these things.

Gina (1:22:17)
It happened it it it happened

to us, not by us. So you can't why carry shame something that happened to you that wasn't you didn't do it. So you shouldn't have any shame attached. And I had shame ⁓ forever.

GenX Adulting (1:22:21)
Yes. Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly.

It's amazing. Such a powerful message from a woman to another woman, right? Because the whole Me Too has been a lot about shame when they were victimized. And what you're just what you're saying is so empowering, I think, for for people to hear that. It's really great. It's it and there and that's what it is. Like through what you do online, through the humor, the sarcasm, all the stuff, that comes through, right? So you're reaching people with your own vehicle, your own way to do it.

Gina (1:22:42)
Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:23:07)
But it's making a difference. It's impacting lives. And there's the sense of it. And then that's why there's the adoration, because you you had an effect on their life, even if it's small. Well, humor's the ultimate icebreaker too. Well breaks the ice, gets the barriers down, and now you can enter and and Gen X is fluent in sarcasm. So we all we all get that. So to go back, okay. I do have a question. Okay. When did you first tell your story? And was it very liberating? Were you like, ⁓ I got this off my

Gina (1:23:10)
Yes. ⁓

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm.

You're not gonna believe this, but

the first time I told my full story was online. And it was it was obviously the shorter version. I have 90 seconds, right? It was written with me in the background because ⁓ a a follower, or I don't know if they were a follower, but commented, made a comment that said, Wow, it must be nice to have no you look like someone.

GenX Adulting (1:23:49)
Right.

Gina (1:24:05)
ch that has no childhood trauma must be nice. I look like what do you what does a childhood trauma person look like? So I did a response video and put out it basically ⁓ when I was seven my dad disappeared. I was told, you know, the the bullet points of my story and put it out there for the whole world to see. And it was like

GenX Adulting (1:24:08)
Wow.

Mm. Yeah.

Gina (1:24:33)
A ton of bricks got lifted off of me. I had friends that never heard it. I had family that had never heard it. I put it out for the whole world to see, thinking if I can help one person that has that can relate to this, if I can help one person, it was totally worth it. And you should have seen the comments. I was bawling like a baby. my God, your story is so similar to mine. Your story

made me realize this or do this or and I knew right then after exhaling that I just put this out there for the world to see. I knew after reading the comments that I had done the right thing. And was it the right thing for me at the time? It felt like it, but was it the right thing to do for others at the time? Absolutely. Because I feel like it it helped unburden people. And I had one lady come up later

And say ⁓ her comment, she said, because of your story, I went and talked to my uncle about blah blah blah. And I got I was brave enough to do this. So thank you. Comments like that are the best comments because you know you're making a difference. Just and and also it can be on the other side of the spectrum where you're where you get, my gosh, I I get my coffee in the morning and I open up to see what

GenX Adulting (1:25:47)
Mm-hmm.

Gina (1:26:00)
video you posted and you get my day going. Those are just as impactful, but knowing that you've reached someone, you've reached someone on the level of bravery to do something is a whole different ballgame. So those are those are powerful.

GenX Adulting (1:26:06)
Absolutely.

So yeah, you didn't even sit

down to tell your story. It was like you're responding to someone semi-snarky comment and you're like, ⁓ no, let me set the record straight. At seven this happened. Yeah, interesting. Was that ⁓ at the beginning of your content creator ⁓ career or was that more when things had really were height get taking off?

Gina (1:26:23)
Yes.

Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I did it twice. I did ⁓ because I didn't have access to the other video that I had done. I didn't even know where it was. ⁓ I did it twice. On TikTok, when I was still just on TikTok, I think I did it. Maybe I posted on Facebook. It took me a long time to get going on Facebook. I would post on TikTok and then post on Facebook every once in a while. So I did it back then and

Then I ended up deleting the video because I wasn't just it didn't feel comfortable, it didn't feel right, it didn't feel like the right time. I'm not sure I put that one on Facebook, but when I got that comment, not only did it anger me, ⁓ which comments really don't bother me. In fact, I love to get them because I love to respond. ⁓ it it angered me thinking that you're looking at people.

And and saying, they look like they had an easy lap, or they look like I know you're projecting, I know you're projecting your own stuff, but how dare you look at me and tell me that I didn't have childhood trauma? How dare you? Let me let me tell you. And by by putting that out there, I think I helped lots of other people find the bravery to do what I did. Maybe not put it out there for.

GenX Adulting (1:27:59)
Yeah.

Well

you stood up for yourself. No question. And you stood up for you. You stood up for yourself. You know, and I think that's the thing to remember is that that that little that child that went through trauma, for those of us who did, it's important that we no one acknowledged them. It's important now we try to honor them as much as we can. And so even in you were help and protect, yeah, all of that, all of that all goes back.

Gina (1:28:12)
I what? ⁓ s yes. Yes, yes.

yeah.

Protect.

Yes.

GenX Adulting (1:28:38)
But I was gonna ask you, when you were in high school and graduating, was college talked to you ⁓ we did you guys talk about college a lot? Was it assumed you were gonna go to college or was that more you driving?

Gina (1:28:48)
No, it was

no, it was an expectation. That's what you do after high school. I didn't I'm gonna be honest with y'all. When I say I was green, my mom was very protective but very fair about it. Like she never said no to a party or anything like that unless there was a reason. I always appreciate that about her. But no, college, I didn't know you had a choice. I I didn't know that you had a choice. I thought that's what you did after high school. Now, I should have taken a

GenX Adulting (1:28:53)
Okay.

Okay.

Which is great.

I mean Yeah.

Gina (1:29:17)
Well, it is. It is. My mom didn't finish

college. She got married and started having babies. She didn't finish college. It was very important to her that we go to college. And it took me till I was thirty. I changed my major a hundred times. I should have had a gap year. I should have had a gap year. ⁓ to party, to be young, to do all the things that I had not done in high school. and I was not allowed that gap year. ⁓

GenX Adulting (1:29:33)
Yeah.

Gina (1:29:45)
So I went straight into college. I was still 17. and I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. But that was an expectation in my family. You go to college. So Texas Tech. We all went to Texas Tech in our town, in our city.

GenX Adulting (1:29:57)
Where did you go?

Okay. And then and then you said you lived with Natalie?

Gina (1:30:07)
In the dorm. My mom let me live in the dorm 'cause she thought I needed to live outside the house.

GenX Adulting (1:30:12)
Okay. And how was that? 'Cause you're you're green?

Gina (1:30:13)
nineteen it was like it was like it was

like literally two and a half miles from my house the university was and she let me live in the dorm and it was

GenX Adulting (1:30:25)
But you know what? Even though it's two and a half miles, that's still night and day. The college life. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓

Gina (1:30:30)
Mm-hmm. She didn't know what I was doing, you know. Mm-hmm. It was

it was very much needed, but my GPA was like 1.3 that semester that first semester. She was like, okay, maybe you need to move back home. ⁓ maybe you need but being that close to I was so appreciative of her n like recognizing that that I was naive and probably needed to get out of the house, you know. But no, we we

GenX Adulting (1:30:45)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Gina (1:30:57)
We went to college. I'm the only one without a master's degree. So it w I know. So my mom did it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:31:02)
wow. Wow. Okay. You were raised that way. When you got

there, did you guys just party?

Gina (1:31:10)
yes. Okay. I'm gonna tell you a little story. I'll make it really brief. Okay, so ⁓ I told this story online. ⁓ so the first night in the dorm, here I am, 17. Natalie goes, get dressed, we're going out. And I'm like, Going out? What, like to a movie? Or what you know, and she goes, No, we're going out. And I was like, How can we go out? I'm 17. You're 18. The drinking age was

I'm not sure that what the drinking age was. I think it might have been 21. Then it went down to 19 and then it went back up to 20 or something. It it did this roller coaster when I was in college. And so I get dressed up in my Madonna gear because I was Madonna in 1984. And ⁓ so we go into this club and you know, you walk up and they're like, Can I see your ID and you just

GenX Adulting (1:31:47)
Yeah.

Yeah. ⁓

Gina (1:32:02)
And they go, just go in, you know. ⁓ but they knew her. So po apparently she had been going to clubs since she was 15. I didn't know this. So because like I say, she introduced me to my ex-husband. She was in band with him. And so then it was just Chris and I and Natalie was doing her own thing. We were still friends. We were still friends, but we didn't hang out on the weekends or anything. So we we go to this this hotel that had a bar in it.

GenX Adulting (1:32:11)
You didn't know?

Okay, okay, okay. Yeah.

Gotcha. Gotcha.

Gina (1:32:32)
And my mom used to go party there. My mom used to go dancing there. The Villa, the Villa Inn. And it had a huge ⁓ it had a huge nightclub inside the hotel. So we go in and I'm like, this is the coolest thing ever. So ⁓ we order we order our amaretta sours and we sit down and I'm looking around and there's like all these girls, and I'm like, are we in a gay bar? Because

I can't tell you how much fun we had in the gay bar in Lubbock at Peaches. my God, we had so much fun there. You don't have to worry about guys hitting on you. It was great. You gotta worry about girls hitting on you, but not guys. But ⁓ so all of a sudden, I well, I said, Natalie, where are all the guys? And she goes, just wait. And all of a sudden, the disco ball just starts going and the lights start going. And I'm like, Are we like at a magic show? You know, she's like, Well, kinda. So

GenX Adulting (1:33:05)
Yeah. Yep. Yeah.

Gina (1:33:27)
All of a sudden the the the guy comes out, his name was Ricky, and he goes, Good ⁓ good evening ladies. Welcome to Hutch's Mail Review. And I'm like, Mail review? Mail review, what does that mean? Like I still y'all, I still didn't get it. All of a sudden, this guy appears through the doorway.

GenX Adulting (1:33:51)
So funny.

Gina (1:33:56)
in his little G string and we meet eyes. It is a guy I sat next to in homeroom for three years in high school.

GenX Adulting (1:34:07)
No. my god.

Gina (1:34:11)
So he he dances over there and and and I was just like mortified. And he goes, Gina Scott, he goes, You are literally the last person I ever thought I would see in here. And I was like, you know what, Brent, I could say the same thing about you. But yeah, so that was my introduction to going out. And by the end of the month, we had our own stools, Tuesday and Thursday night at that place. We had our own stools.

GenX Adulting (1:34:37)
my god.

That's amazing.

Gina (1:34:39)
That b Brad the bartend

Brad the bartender be like, no, you can't sit there. And so finally they just started putting stickers that said reserved on our stools.

GenX Adulting (1:34:49)
Amazing. I love it. I love it. I love it. So did you did did the next did the next four years kind of did you go hard like that through all all of school?

Gina (1:34:51)
Sorry, mom. Sorry, mom.

It was great.

No, uh-uh.

No. ⁓ the only that's the only year I went hard, except for between divorces. Between my two divorces, between my two marriages, I was like 30, early 30s. I went kind of hard then. I I was living, I had a friend of mine who I worked for at the time in her chiropractic clinic. We were best friends and she was going through divorce, so she moved into my upstairs. So ⁓ we

We partied pretty hard. But in college, I that first year, Natalie lived with me the first semester and then she transferred to UT and I stayed but my mom had already paid for the second half of the year. So I got to stay in the dorm by myself the next semester. And I got well, I got kind of bored. I didn't hang out with the other girls because they were doing a lot of ⁓ I don't want to say it because I don't want it to get blocked, but they were doing a lot of substances.

GenX Adulting (1:35:47)
that's nice.

Gina (1:36:00)
that I was not gonna participate in. ⁓ there was a lot of white a lot of white substances were really popular back then. And I knew I'd like it, so I ne I knew I'd like it, so I never did it. So I didn't really hang out with anyone. So I ended up getting back with my ex-husband. ⁓ not my he wasn't my boyfriend who became my ex-husband. Who became my husband, then my ex husband.

GenX Adulting (1:36:05)
Right.

The eighties.

Yeah, that's smart.

Gina (1:36:26)
We we got back together and so then it was just back to us and going to see his bands play and ⁓ which was great fun. Great I've had so many fun times. ⁓ huh.

GenX Adulting (1:36:27)
Right.

Were you going to school still during that

did you were you still going to school during that time? Like did you so you guys you guys got back together and he's playing in bands, but are you still going to school?

Gina (1:36:39)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. yeah. My mom, my mom would never have allowed me not to. But then I changed my major like four times and I didn't know what I wanted to do. And so I had no direction. And I should have taken basics first. But back then they made you on campus, on at orientation, declare your major. Are you kidding me? I'm 17 years old. You want me to declare me? You want me to tell you what I want to do the rest of my life?

GenX Adulting (1:36:47)
Okay.

Yeah.

Gina (1:37:14)
Well, I wanna train I wanna train dolphins at SeaWorld. So do you have a degree for that? I mean, come on. So, ⁓

GenX Adulting (1:37:15)
Yeah.

I think

I think they still do that. It's ridiculous.

Gina (1:37:25)
Yes,

it's ridiculous. So long story short, I got I got married at twenty-four, at twenty-three, had my son, I was almost twenty-five, and so school was out for a while, and then I went back when I was twenty-seven and went back part-time, had two children. My mother my amazing mother-in-law kept the kids while I went back to school part-time. So part-time it took me a while, and then I finally graduated and

GenX Adulting (1:37:27)
It is. Are they forcing? Yeah.

Gina (1:37:55)
⁓ two months after I turned thirty and then we moved here for his job, ⁓ right after that. Right after I graduated. So

GenX Adulting (1:38:03)
And what did you

what'd you get your degree in?

Gina (1:38:06)
Human sciences, which is psychology, but it's through a different department. So that you have more family, ⁓ it's more family structured than individual, like the whole family unit type thing. but it's called ⁓ human sciences, basically. But if you if you like look at it, it's it's psychology just in a different department.

GenX Adulting (1:38:21)
Right. Right, right, right.

Okay. So through your twenties you were you were chipping away your degree and you had three children?

Gina (1:38:40)
No, two. There's a huge there's a big age difference between my first two and my last one from a second marriage.

GenX Adulting (1:38:42)
Two. Two daughters.

Okay,

so you had two daughters with your first husband.

Gina (1:38:52)
No a

son and a daughter.

GenX Adulting (1:38:55)
A son and a daughter, sorry. So a son and a daughter with your first husband. And then you guys moved to Texas short or no, moved to Dallas shortly after you graduate to Dallas. and then were you did you ⁓ were you stay at home mom or did you go to work using your di your degree? You're stay home mom?

Gina (1:38:56)
Yes.

Dallas.

after I got my degree, ⁓ I never used I never used my degree. ⁓ I went into the field I'm in now. So I never used my degree.

GenX Adulting (1:39:18)
Yeah.

Okay. So

so were you pretty much a stay at home mom during your kids' formative years?

Gina (1:39:31)
My first two, I was a stay at home mom for seven years. And then my third child, I worked part time. We kind of Rob and I kind of ⁓

made our schedules where we were able to always have someone home with Aubrey and didn't have to put her in daycare. Yeah. And then at two and a half we put her we put her in daycare for socialization, but it was just part time. ⁓ but I didn't have to put any of my kids in my first two were never in daycare. And then Aubrey was just in part time daycare when she was like two and a half. ⁓ you know, till she started kindergarten.

GenX Adulting (1:39:52)
Okay, that's nice. That's nice.

Okay.

And so when they so you were able to work in your field in healthcare and ⁓ and you and you were able to work your schedules. So one of you was always with her, basically. And then so you're kind of doing that. So you've you've divorced and you've remarried and you've had your your second daughter, your third child, you're working in healthcare. ⁓ and how long were you married to your second husband before you guys got divorced?

Gina (1:40:38)
We

were only married just under four years. Aubrey was only two and a half when we divorced.

GenX Adulting (1:40:46)
Okay. And

Gina (1:40:46)
So that was it was rough.

I didn't want a divorce.

He ⁓ he has issues with depression and he goes into episodes where he makes decisions, really rash decisions, based on his feelings at the time. And that's what happened because as soon as I moved out, he was trying to get me back. ⁓ it was and I was so hurt and so injured that my middle daughter had told me, if you take him back, I'm gonna go move in with my dad. And

GenX Adulting (1:40:51)
Okay.

Right.

Gina (1:41:20)
That right there did it for me, knowing the anger she had, because she was very close to him. It was horrible. It was horrible. So never, I never, you know, I think, to be honest with you, I think we might still be together if that hadn't happened. If his depression hadn't gotten the best of him.

GenX Adulting (1:41:26)
Right, right, right. So

Do you guys have a

Do you guys still co parent together?

Gina (1:41:44)
Well, I mean, she's twenty two. ⁓ he's he's been married he's been married for gosh.

GenX Adulting (1:41:47)
So when he was

Gina (1:41:54)
Since Aubrey was like six and she's twenty two. Yeah. So yeah. We don't Rob and I don't communicate or anything. I mean, he's married. I've communicated with his wife more than I've communicated with him over the years, you know. So

GenX Adulting (1:41:58)
Okay. Okay. So you co parented and now she's obviously an adult.

Okay.

Okay. That makes

sense. Okay, so when when did content creation when was that born in your life? Was that while you were still married or was that post divorce?

Gina (1:42:25)
no,

I've been divorced for 20 years. I've been single for 20 years.

GenX Adulting (1:42:30)
Okay. So

okay, so you're single, you're working in healthcare, raising your kids as a single mom, right? And yeah, especially your first two. when did content creation show up?

Gina (1:42:38)
Mm. Especially my first two.

Twenty twenty two, four years ago. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:42:50)
Okay, so four years ago.

And what spurred that? What was the first thing you did that you got some traction?

Gina (1:42:59)
Okay, my friend, one of my best friends, Vince, he would always send me TikToks, constantly send me TikToks. I don't have time to open all that shit. Finally, I open, I said, okay, I'll get the app. I didn't even have, y'all, I didn't even have the app. I didn't even have the app. I was just on Facebook. And so I go get the app. And needless to say, the next six hours, I'm scrolling at funny dog videos, you know.

GenX Adulting (1:43:15)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yes, yes,

yes, yes.

Gina (1:43:28)
And

I'm like, this is fun. So about maybe six months later, Groot, when Groot was younger, his antics, he's he's really funny. He he he when he runs, it's like bouncing like a deer. It's so cute. But so I decided to do some videos of these two guys and posted them on TikTok. And then I'm really good at lip syncing, like

GenX Adulting (1:43:32)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Gina (1:43:57)
really good at lip syncing. And so I did some lip sync stuff. And then I had

One video, I can still I still know exactly which one it was, where I did a stitch with a young lady that was saying, if you're over 40, quit wearing your hair like this, quit wearing your hair like that. So I did a stitch and I mentioned Generation X. I said, Gen X here, you know, expressing my opinion and blah blah. And because I had no niche, I was determined to remain niche less. I don't want to be in a niche.

GenX Adulting (1:44:20)
Yeah.

Gina (1:44:35)
I just want to do what I want to do, right? Which is still kind of I want to do more stuff than I'm doing. And I'm going to start doing it on YouTube. But anyway, ⁓ so that stitch went viral. And I I don't know why it was so long before I put it on Facebook. Maybe it was, maybe it was about the same time. And I had been posting on Facebook just periodically, not really getting any attention, like maybe 50 likes, you know, stuff like that.

GenX Adulting (1:44:38)
Right, right.

Gina (1:45:05)
that one same video went viral on Facebook and boom boom so ⁓ i started making money on facebook probably six months after i started after that video went viral and then all my eggs went in that basket which was a mistake my eggs should have gone facebook youtube because i'm just now building i mean i'm at to like i don't know 28 000 over there or something

Which a couple of months ago I was at 1.8,000. So I have made progress. And I was just accepted into the, yeah, into the monetization program, but not ads yet. So I'm not making much money, but it's getting there. So anyway, I've just started on YouTube. I started posting on Instagram. ⁓ I've developed probably more popularity on Instagram than I actually have on Facebook as far as how my videos do. But it just snowballed from that one.

GenX Adulting (1:45:38)
Definitely.

Yeah.

Gina (1:46:03)
Video. That one video.

GenX Adulting (1:46:05)
amazing. And then did you how did you figure out how to come up with the way you approach your videos? It's very unique. I don't see anyone else doing it. The way you talk to the audience, you I don't know. It's it did was this predetermined? Did you test out a few different ways or did you literally just go, I'm just gonna approach it like this and it is what it is.

Gina (1:46:29)
Mm mm.

I just turn on I just I just turn on the camera and start talking. I'm ADHD, Nicole. I don't script anything. I don't even think about it before I turn the camera on. I just turn the camera on and whatever comes out of my mouth comes out of my mouth. And the video might be eight minutes long and I have to edit it down to 90 seconds. ⁓ but I can't I don't want my content to ever feel scripted. I don't want it to ever feel like

GenX Adulting (1:46:35)
Because it's so unique.

Yeah, yeah.

Gina (1:47:03)
I didn't just turn on the camera and start talking. That's that I don't like scripted content. So therefore it was important to me to feel genuine. And I literally, I'm not kidding you when I say sometimes I have no clue what I'm gonna say. And I just hit play. So that's I don't you know, I don't know. It just star it just turned into what it is, you know.

GenX Adulting (1:47:23)
It's authentic.

It is. It's it's

It's so authentic. I mean, I think that's part of obviously why it's you're so successful. Cause it does come across as very authentic. It's very unique. Honestly, it's very unique. And I'm a big believer in ⁓ like you just said, authenticity in what you post. And also it's important where your intention's coming from, you know, and having a good intention. Cause once you put it out there, it really doesn't belong to you anymore.

Gina (1:47:39)
Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (1:47:57)
It belongs

to whoever is testing it. ⁓ but you wanna at least put it out there with authenticity and put out there with good intention. And you're certainly doing that. ⁓ where did the your mom ⁓ s come into it? Was that right from the start?

Gina (1:48:00)
Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. That the your mom thing's only been probably less than a year or about a year. I did a video and at the end of the video, it was just a perfect natural thing to say your mom. Like, you know, you know, like your mom. And people just went crazy talking about the you know, the mom jokes when we were young. ⁓ and yo mama, it was yo mama, but

GenX Adulting (1:48:32)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Gina (1:48:42)
We always said your mom. So ⁓ I did it in a couple more videos and then people started expecting it. And I did realize that if it's at the end of your video, they have to watch till the end of the video. It's a great way to get people to watch the whole video. So it it just became kind of a hook. People expect it. And now when I don't say it.

GenX Adulting (1:48:42)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Gina (1:49:12)
People are like, well, I was waiting for your mom at the end, you know, and and but not everyone probably appreciates the your mom jokes. Not every one of my followers thinks it's endearing or whatever. So I try to not put it in every video. And if it doesn't organically come to the belong to the video, then I won't say it. If you ever see me not say it, it's because it didn't organically grow into that at the end. It's not that I

GenX Adulting (1:49:16)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Gina (1:49:41)
'Cause I again I don't script anything. So

GenX Adulting (1:49:44)
Well, you can tell that it when you do it, it fits so perfect. Sometimes I'm like, I can't believe she pulled that into that. Like, but it's perfect the way you did that. ⁓ so I do I do believe you and you say it's organic because there's times I'm not expecting it. And then you bring it right in and I'm like, how'd she do that? Mom jokes are a lost art. They are.

Gina (1:50:01)
Me too.

Me too. Sometimes I'm like.

The what? A lost art?

GenX Adulting (1:50:11)
Mom jokes are a lost art. They are. They don't do it anymore. Well, and it's such it's such our generation. Like you said, it's such I love that you've brought it back because it is such our generation. I think especially with guys. I can remember being in the in the cafeteria ripping on each other with your mom jokes. Yeah. Yeah, your mom was great last night. Can you tell her to call me? That kind of stuff. No, it's brilliant though. It's brilliant. And so so from twenty twenty twenty twenty two to now.

Gina (1:50:15)
Hello?

Uhhuh. Uhhuh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Thank you.

GenX Adulting (1:50:40)
You just slowly been building your audience and across different platforms. ha what kind of opportunities have been brought to you from that work that you've been doing?

Gina (1:50:43)
Mm-hmm.

Just recently within ⁓ it started right when I hit 500,000 followers on Facebook. ⁓ now the opportunities come on Instagram. So every offer I've gotten is because meta, they're both meta. So the partnership offers come to my email on Instagram or they come to my email, my general email.

So I've done I did a ad for Timo with a hair tool. I've gotten I'm about to do one for a protein powder company, you know, because I'm on a GLP one right now and it's hard to get enough protein. So this this protein is amazing, y'all. I'm not kidding you. I don't like protein powder, but this shit's good. So and then I recently had an offer that I turned down. ⁓ it was for a toys.

GenX Adulting (1:51:33)
Mm.

Gina (1:51:50)
I'm like, that's not gonna go over well with my audience. For you know, toys. Yeah. And ⁓ it I thought, you know, I could make this so funny, but my sister basically was like, Gina, you don't wanna that might prevent other brands from reaching out to me. You never know how that's gonna go over. But anyway, and then so I've had I'm working on a couple of things for a couple of apps for that for ⁓ for that, but you it's slow going and in my opinion.

GenX Adulting (1:51:56)
Like adult toys.

Yeah.

Gina (1:52:20)
Content is not going to appeal to everyone. So if you're not a beauty influencer, you're not going to get a bunch of offers from L'Oreal or, you know, blah, blah, blah. I do, I do draw attention for hair tools, apparently. ⁓ but I'm also not the kind I'm not gonna do, I'm not gonna tell you this is the best hair tool I've ever used, unless it is. And then I'm next week I'm not gonna have another hair tool telling you.

GenX Adulting (1:52:31)
Right.

Understandably.

Gina (1:52:48)
I I'm not I won't do that. So if I don't test it, believe in it, and I'm not doing it. I don't okay, again, that's go with the authenticity. I just I won't do it if I don't like it.

GenX Adulting (1:52:51)
Right.

It's

Yes.

I was gonna say I I assume you get a lot of solicitation. ⁓ so is that pretty much how you break it you narrow it down is only if I really am gonna use this and I'm gonna s I'm not gonna send this out there unless I stand behind it a hundred percent.

Gina (1:53:18)
⁓ I there's a lot of I don't want to say bogus opportunities, but ridiculous ones. Like I got one yesterday. They wanted to pay me, no, no, no, no. They wanted to gift me a bottle of perfume from was it Eve Saint Laurent, Eve Saint Laurent, something like that. ⁓ and in return, they wanted like six videos.

GenX Adulting (1:53:37)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Gina (1:53:45)
Are you are you kidding me? You want me to you want me to give you hours of my time because editing takes me forever because I can't shut up, right? You want me to give you hours of my time for a bottle of perfume when I'm allergic to 99% of perfumes anyway. So they want to I've reached the numbers, and I just have to tell myself this where I don't have to take opportunities.

GenX Adulting (1:53:46)
just about that perfume. Yeah, that's ridiculous.

Yeah.

Gina (1:54:14)
That will not benefit me financially. And if you you want to offer me a hundred dollars to do two videos for TikTok, no, I have over a million followers across platforms. I have to chat GPT, chat GPT tells me you need to be charging this much. And if they want these rights and this, you need to be charging this much. And so it's I've lost a few deals doing that. But

You're not gonna pay me $350 when you want all these rights to my videos, long-term rights and all this stuff. Use my videos to make you money, put ads on them and stuff. You need to be paying me a lot of money to have those rights. So I've learned a lot from Chat GPT on how to handle that stuff, but ⁓ I would say 95-99 of them are just worthless deals. So I'm hoping, you know.

GenX Adulting (1:54:56)
Yeah.

You know it's

Gina (1:55:13)
With more exposure that I'll get more legit ones.

GenX Adulting (1:55:17)
You know the you will. There's no question. The toy thing though could easily be woven into your mom. I know, I thought about that too. Your mom would love this. Maybe maybe put that one behind a paywall.

Gina (1:55:23)
No.

Well, and the good the the

thing about the thing about that one too is you never show it. You never sh you never you don't have to show it. Like you know, that that your mom thing, that your mom thing, you know what, I may be go I may go back and talk to them. 'Cause all I'd have to do is be I might want to revisit that one. I don't even have to show it. They wanted to pay me like twelve hundred dollars, so it'd probably be worth it. I don't know.

GenX Adulting (1:55:37)
Right. That's good actually. That's yeah. That's huge. I don't think you can.

You might want to revisit that.

Honestly,

Gina. I think that could just be a your mom joke video and you're not even showing it. I really do. I I agree.

Gina (1:56:02)
⁓

I know why. I know

why. I know why I said no. Cause I had all these ideas. I was gonna walk by with the box and this is what I was gonna do at my sister's late cast. I wanted to walk by with the box, like walking into the lit into the bedroom, and my sister be like, where are you going? I'd be like, I'm just gonna go take a nap. And then I walk out and my hair is all messed up and I'm all disheveled. And she's like, What you doing there? You know? And they said, they said no, we have a script. That's why I said no, I forgot.

GenX Adulting (1:56:29)
⁓

Gina (1:56:35)
That's why that's the they wanted it to be I I said, and I won't I won't take those deals that are highly scripted where I can't use my own nuances. Those aren't worth it to me. They're just not. It it feels disingenuous.

GenX Adulting (1:56:35)
⁓

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I yeah.

Absolutely. I would think they'd want you to use your platform and what you're doing. That that's actually the best sell. Like if I come across a video and it's obvious they're just trying to hard sell, I just scroll. But sometimes I get caught in a video. I didn't even know they were selling me something until the end because they it's their platform. So they stayed consistent.

Gina (1:56:55)
Yeah.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Understand why if if my content drew you to me for the offer, why would you not meet why would you not want me to use what drew you to me in the first place? That doesn't make sense to me. No, it doesn't make any sense.

GenX Adulting (1:57:21)
Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. It doesn't make sense. I feel like someone is

someone's not connecting the dots there for sure. Now, with your growth, ⁓ have you connected with other Gen X content creators in different ways?

Gina (1:57:35)
Yeah.

Well, recently with with ⁓ Sherri and Kelly and Dad Bod and John and Nick, professor, ⁓ getting invited to the Gen X takeover cruise was a dream come true. Like Sherri called me, yeah, Sherri calls me and she's like, Hey, you know, what are you up to? And I'm like, What are you doing calling me? you know? And ⁓ she says, Hey, well, we ⁓ you know, the cruise is coming up in March of

GenX Adulting (1:58:00)
That's amazing.

Gina (1:58:13)
Two thousand twenty seven and we're gonna we're choosing some creators to go with us and would you like to be one of ⁓ We each kind of picked one and and she mentioned that my when they do post about their comedy tour or the cruise and videos like that, she said, Your followers are loyal. She said they'll be up in our comment section saying, Where's Gina? Why isn't she there? you know. And ⁓ so I know I was like, my God. She says, So we see a

GenX Adulting (1:58:42)
I love it.

Gina (1:58:43)
We see a lot of loyalty with your followers. So would you like to go on the trip? And I'm like, when is it and how much is it? You know? And she goes, No, we're we're paying for this. And I was like, I'm in. So I I I'm excited. I'm I'm excited to not only just be around those people. ⁓ I'll I'll get to meet them at the Calmie show in September here in Dallas, but ⁓ not to just be around them, but just the whole experience as a whole. I've never been on a cruise.

GenX Adulting (1:58:56)
Amazing. Amazing.

Gina (1:59:13)
and I'm taking a friend of mine. So ⁓ well they're going. And I'm I'm really looking forward to perhaps an opportunity to do a little bit of improv, possibly. Or I'm a karaoke queen. I can't wait for karaoke night, that kind of thing. you know, I don't ⁓ what's cool about it is they said

GenX Adulting (1:59:14)
wow.

Yeah.

Gina (1:59:40)
Kelly was saying we are we had a Zoom call and she was saying, you know, there may be a few things we want y'all to participate in or blah, blah, but this trip, you just do what you want to. You we're not, this isn't s scheduled, structured, which is great for me because I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, my mind doesn't work that way, you know. But of course, of course I expect to be participating. Like she said, ⁓ maybe you would want to host a 70s night.

GenX Adulting (2:00:02)
Yeah, yeah.

Gina (2:00:09)
Or which I would love to do. I'm gonna talk to him about that because I'm a I'm a hippie, I'm a hippie chick. You know, all my jeans are bell bottoms and mm-hmm. So I would I would have the costume for that. But I would love to host it because I'm an older Gen Xer. My childhood was the 70s, and my sisters were older and wearing the hot pants and the bell bottoms and the fringe and the and I was obsessed with that. And my favorite genre of music is.

GenX Adulting (2:00:13)
Amazing.

Are you?

Right.

Yes.

Yeah.

Gina (2:00:39)
is 70s like you know all the romantically girly songs like magnet and steel ⁓ a lot ⁓ you know that song you know that song one hit wonder

GenX Adulting (2:00:49)
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, of course.

I love that song. you are the magnet and I am still I love that song. You guys gotta sing it. I don't know. Gina can.

Gina (2:00:58)
Walter

⁓

I s I'm awful. When I say it when I say I sing karaoke, Nicole, I didn't say I sing it well. I sing it, but I don't sing well.

GenX Adulting (2:01:07)
It's a great song.

You

know who you know who will be singing that with you is the professor. He'll be all over that karaoke with you. No, I love that. Do you like yacht rock?

Gina (2:01:18)
Yes. Yes, we'll we'll have to do it.

That's my favorite genre of music is yacht rock. I just I love it. I listen to it on Spotify all the time. I've got a yacht rock playlist and then I have a 70s soft rock playlist with like ⁓ like we were talking about Magnet and Steel, ⁓ Hall and Oates when it was still Daryl Hall and John Oates, like Sarah Smile and all that kind of music, some Steely Dan.

GenX Adulting (2:01:28)
I love it. I love it.

Yes.

Gina (2:01:51)
favorite band is Bad Company though. But it wasn't my favorite band until my grown up years. Yeah. Love me. ⁓ I love

GenX Adulting (2:01:54)
⁓

Company. Bad company's good.

Love bad company. You know, when all those songs come on, it's like I I feel nostalgic. It makes me feel nostalgic and it just calms my nervous system. I know that sounds weird, but I I instantly transported and I'm just like chill. And it doesn't matter what's going on in my life. I could be driving to Target and I'm just like, Yacht rock's taking me away. What else is what else is in Yacht Rock? There's so much like

Gina (2:02:05)
Yes, yes. Mm hmm. It does me too.

Right. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (2:02:26)
I don't I like still some claim. you know, a lot of Doobie or Michael McDonald's. Yeah, Doobie Brothers and ⁓ Yeah. Christopher Cross. I that's not Led Zeppelin or the dead or Jimmy. No, no, no. It's more yeah.

Gina (2:02:32)
Doobie, Doobie Brothers, Christopher Cross. ⁓ mm-hmm.

No, it's it's softer softer

rock. ⁓ it's probably what you hear at the grocery store now.

GenX Adulting (2:02:44)
Yeah, okay. Yes.

Yeah. Although now I hear like t early two thousands hits at the grocery store. And I'm like, lots of nineties. Such a trip to get old and to go through classic rock is now, you know, like when you're they say you're born in the nineteen hundreds. Yeah. I think that's so cool though. Like what an awesome opportunity. And I can't wait to see your videos. my gosh. It's and your fans are gonna

Gina (2:02:52)
I know. Like lots of nineties. I'm like, what? Mm-hmm. I know.

No, I'm so grateful. So grateful.

GenX Adulting (2:03:19)
lot of them will probably go on the cruise just to meet you and that's that's so so cool, you know, and get that time with you and you'll you'll get that exposure with them. So what a unique experience. And it's it I love that they're doing this. Again, the whole Gen X ⁓ concept of it's our time and we're doing the things. And we're we don't care. We're gonna be seen, we're gonna share.

Gina (2:03:24)
You know.

It I can't wait.

Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (2:03:48)
We're gonna have fun and we're doing it ⁓ on our terms this time and we don't we don't like how you said earlier, you don't care anymore what other people think. You don't care, you know. So and I don't know if some of that for also us women is from perimenopause and menopause. I don't know if you went through that shift where you're like, I don't care anymore. It helped with that at the very least. But

Gina (2:04:04)
Mm-hmm. Probably. Probably. ⁓ gosh.

⁓ a hundred percent.

I'm if you want to call me cringy for what I'm doing, I don't care. Like people call, ⁓ cringe, Gen X shouldn't be doing this. You're too old for this. Like, I don't know if you saw my montage of you'll have to see if you don't about mom of the mom jokes. I just put it out yesterday. ⁓ this guy commented

Stop with the mom stuff. You're too old for this. So I did a whole montage of my ending, like your mom, your mom, your mom. ⁓ yeah, I did that ⁓ as a response because I j I genuinely don't give a shit what you think about me. Like I don't. I I don't. That ⁓ call me cringy, you know, I don't care.

GenX Adulting (2:04:39)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, and I

I find it interesting though when they refer to us as old because we really aren't. I mean, I know we say like, we're getting old, but we really aren't. We're still thriving. And I think out of all the generations, we're we're completely changing the idea of what aging is. Like so many of us are starting new big things now, midlife. It's like you wish you can be like us when you get to this age. You have no idea.

Gina (2:05:10)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

GenX Adulting (2:05:20)
what we're doing and and all the innovative things that we're doing now. So I just I find it really funny when we're called old because well, we're perpetually thirty. Yeah, I feel young again. One hundred percent. I was gonna go back though to when you found out about your bio your dad not being your biological dad and you found out and you were nineteen and your one sister was there for you. ⁓

Gina (2:05:30)
huh.

GenX Adulting (2:05:50)
Was that your freshman year in college?

Gina (2:05:52)
I was 17, so it had to be my sophomore year. Probably sophomore year.

GenX Adulting (2:05:59)
It was your sophomore

year. true, true. So you would have been almost like a junior. So did that ⁓

Gina (2:06:08)
I would it so it would have been seventeen,

eighteen, eighteen, nineteen. So I was a sophomore. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (2:06:15)
Okay. Did that 'cause that's such a huge implosion of everything how you thought everything was, did that derail anything going on at school? Like did you have to take some time off while this was going on just to absorb or did you just keep going through it, even though you're trying to deal with this trauma on the side?

Gina (2:06:30)
Mm mm.

I wasn't ever focused in college. So it did it real nothing really changed. I wasn't ever motivated in college. I didn't want to be there. Like I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be on Saturday Night Live. I didn't want to be there. I still didn't know what I wanted to do. I didn't, I just I didn't want to be there. I never applied myself in college. And now I know a lot of it is I'm about as ADHD as you can get. Like I'm high up there. And if I don't take my Adderall, I don't get shit done.

GenX Adulting (2:06:45)
Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Gina (2:07:05)
but then if I take Matterall, then I get a little anxious and you know, it's kind of like a you gotta pick and choose. But when I need to get stuff done, I take it and when I don't, I don't. But I never was that, you know, I skipped class all the time. I ⁓ my GPA was crap. And then I went back at twenty six and loved every single minute of it. Loved every minute of it. I was ready. I was ready.

GenX Adulting (2:07:06)
Yeah.

Yeah.

You're

ready. That supports your gap, your Yeah, that that does. That's also when the frontal lobe closes. Yeah. It's twenty six. And that makes such a big difference. It really does. Yeah.

Gina (2:07:40)
Yeah, makes perfect sense. I loved it and

⁓ I made good grades, I brought my GPA up and ⁓ really felt focused and and it felt good to go to school for the first you know, for the first time really.

GenX Adulting (2:07:59)
Now you said that your dad it was three strikes and he was a lifer, but that he was very charming. Did he was he able to get out of staying in prison? So what happened there?

Gina (2:08:09)
Yeah. yeah. Healing start.

I was 13 and we were in the back of my aunt my Aunt Gina's station wagon. I'll never forget. You know how you had the back seats that faced backwards and then forward, you know? And it was wood, yes, wood panel station wagon. So we're in there and by

GenX Adulting (2:08:23)
Yes. They were the best. They were the best.

Yes, yes.

Gina (2:08:30)
Yeah, and my cousin Mark, I I don't he just popped out like out of the blue, said, You know your dad's in prison. Or you know your dad's in jail. And you know, I mean this little girl who's like already scared of her shadow. And I just sat there and he's and and my aunt Gina, who's Lithuanian, yells, Mark Hannah, you know, and ⁓ someone said, Shh, Mark. So

I was like, ⁓ everyone knows. ⁓ and he told me that he was in prison for the big ⁓ And I'm like, so I lived with that, thinking my dad was in prison for for weeks. Yes, before we for weeks before my mom finally said, Well, in her bathroom, me on her bed, just like the divorce conversation.

GenX Adulting (2:09:16)
Murder. my god.

Gina (2:09:29)
I say conversation loosely. She goes, Well, Gina told me, Gina told me that you ⁓ that Mark told you about your dad. So for weeks I lived with thinking my dad was a murderer. Cause she could she didn't have the courage to come talk to me about it. So ⁓ she told me no, he was in jail that he was he he liked to steal. ⁓ one of the this is this is the best one though. I say best, but this will give you a example.

GenX Adulting (2:09:32)
Yes.

⁓ my God.

Gina (2:09:59)
So he could talk anyone to into anything. So he tells this guy, look, I need you to move all this farm equipment that I bought, and I need you to move it to Yada Yada. He hires this guy. And you know, this guy's not questioning him or whatever. That's not his farm equipment. He stole all of it, moved it to Yada Yada, and then sold it to pay this guy who he had embezzled from, who blah bossed. One of the guys he embezzled from, y'all.

Was the owner of the trucking company that he worked for for 20, 30 years. And he found out, do y'all know he didn't even press charges? He didn't even press charges. It was hundreds of thousands of dollars because everyone loved my dad. He didn't press charges. So that's how I found out. And then ⁓ so after I found out, ⁓ this was so uncomfortable.

GenX Adulting (2:10:37)
my gosh.

Wow.

Gina (2:11:00)
not telling you, but this this is what I'm about to say. My dad found out that I knew, and so he's like, well, yay. And so he would come with the warden to my aunt's house. My Aunt Joe, the one who, and we never talked about him not being my dad. He would come to Aunt Joe's house with the warden and visit me. And so I would meet this man that I had no recollection of.

GenX Adulting (2:11:17)
Right. Right.

Gina (2:11:29)
whatsoever, who wanted me to sit in his lap and him tell me how much he loved me. I wasn't given a choice. I was thrown back into it. I wasn't given a choice. Do you want a relationship with this man? Do you want to see him? No, I wasn't given a choice. It was just I was thrown back into it.

GenX Adulting (2:11:46)
And you were

thirteen. And you were older, like sit in his lap. Like it's not you're not a little girl. Yeah, that's also like

Gina (2:11:51)
thirteen.

My dad was

a my dad was a kiss on the lips kind of guy. That's just and my Aunt Joe was too, his sister. ⁓ there was nothing ever creepy, don't don't worry. but it was just it it I didn't I didn't I didn't want it. I didn't want it. I I didn't have a choice. I was just throwing right back into it. And so we developed a relationship and then he got out. They let him out after serving seven years.

GenX Adulting (2:12:05)
Right, right, right.

You didn't have a choice.

Gina (2:12:25)
a lafer. And so we developed a relationship, a pretty good one, pretty strong one. And then he married my evil stepmother. And that was the beginning of the end. ⁓ she was ⁓ like fifteen. So we had a very short span of

GenX Adulting (2:12:44)
How old were you when he married her?

Gina (2:12:52)
Him, he had to be with somebody. He just he couldn't handle it. She was like 15 years younger, very insecure, ⁓ did not want, hated the fact that he had another family. ⁓ he would sneak off to go sit and have coffee with my mom so they could chit chat and reminisce and talk. And they I think they still loved each other, to be honest with you. But she like he would have to slip me $20, like so she didn't see it. Like everything was again a secret.

Everything again was a secret. He was paying for part of my tuition, but then but then he would say, I mailed the check. I don't know why they didn't get it. This stuff started happening. So when I was, I already had two children. ⁓ when I was, we were already here.

GenX Adulting (2:13:22)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Gina (2:13:46)
My kids were

Okay, it was about 1998.

He, my stepmother, called me in a complete frenzy and said, Your dad's in trouble again. And this time they're not going to let him out. She said, We have been running from the law for 20 years. That's why we move all the time. That's why our phone number changes all the time. And she told me flat out, we've been running her exact words, we've been running from the law for over 20 years.

GenX Adulting (2:14:21)
my gosh.

Gina (2:14:22)
So he's in jail

at the time and he's y'all aren't gonna believe this. Okay. So he at the same time this is happening, he gets diagnosed with ⁓ prostate cancer. Or it was before that, and he wouldn't do anything about it because it could cause impotence if they hit a nerve or something. He wasn't gonna do anything about that. So he just let it go. So by the time he got arrested,

GenX Adulting (2:14:43)
Mm yeah.

Gina (2:14:51)
And they weren't even having a trial. There was no trial or anything. It was you're going back to prison forever. Because here's Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. He changed work a lot because he would steal from them, embezzle, and then he would just move on to the next job and do the same thing.

GenX Adulting (2:14:56)
Right. Was it was it for the same stuff, like the same type of crimes? Okay.

How how would he keep getting jobs?

Gina (2:15:13)
You had to know my dad. He was the nicest, most charming man. He could charm anyone. Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (2:15:23)
Well

that's amazing. He could charm a warden to come to your angel. True, true. How the hell did that happen? Yeah. Yeah. That's a really good point.

Gina (2:15:30)
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I still I still remember his name.

His name was Rick. I still remember what he looked like. Little old man, bald man. And he'd he'd buy my dad cigarettes. He'd buy him stuff when they were out. So, I know. So, I know, isn't that crazy? No. No.

GenX Adulting (2:15:43)
⁓ that's so funny. That's what I'm saying. It's like that's not normal.

Was your Aunt Joe a good cook or something? You mean what? Why what the aunt why with Aunt Joe? Because they'd go to Aunt Joe's house, right? And she must have met a good cook. true. True. Yeah. That's true. Yeah, the warden was getting a meal. Yeah. Let's go to my sister.

Gina (2:15:54)
Not particularly.

To eat dinner.

So yeah, exactly. He was getting fed.

No, he's just there. But then ⁓ so I said, I want to talk to my dad. And ⁓ Brenda said, Well, I'm gonna have him call ya. So he calls me. Same shit, different day. I don't know what they're talking about. I didn't do this, they're wrong. I said,

GenX Adulting (2:16:11)
Yeah.

Gina (2:16:34)
Listen to me clearly. Your wife already told me everything. Brenda told me everything. I need you for once, once to tell me the truth. Well, I don't, I still, I don't know what they're talking about. I didn't do it. Blah, blah. I said, again, listen to me. If you do not tell me the truth right now on this phone.

You will never see me or your grandchildren ever again. And he said, Well, I don't know what they're talking about. And I hung up. That's the very last time I ever spoke to him. That was the last, that was the last that was the last strike for me as well. And what do you think happened? He got diagnosed with cancer and they never took sent never sent him to jail. He never spent one day in prison.

GenX Adulting (2:17:14)
Wow.

Really?

So how old was he when that all happened?

Gina (2:17:36)
let's see. ⁓

Five ish sixty five ish.

GenX Adulting (2:17:49)
Yeah, it makes

sense. And so he just got to live out like is he still alive?

Gina (2:17:55)
no. He died of bone cancer. It went into bone cancer. He died of bone cancer three months after my mom passed away in two thousand twenty four. Or two thousand twenty. Wait, Aubrey was born. Yeah, two thousand twenty-four or five. He died right after my mom did. She died in August and he died in December. Same year.

GenX Adulting (2:18:15)
How old were you when you had that conversation with them?

Gina (2:18:19)
That's what I'm trying to figure out. I married see, I married Rob, late 20s, late 20s.

GenX Adulting (2:18:27)
That's what

I was thinking when you said you're you're you're older two were young like you were still married to your first husband, right? And they were younger. Yeah.

Gina (2:18:34)
I think they were maybe

four and six or five and seven. And I sat down with them and told them that we weren't gonna be seeing grandpa anymore, or Mimi, that was his evil wife. we're not gonna see grandpa and Mimi anymore. And, you know, they're young and and I don't think they really cared, to be honest with you. There wasn't like I mean, we saw them a lot. We came to Dallas, they lived in Whitney.

⁓ out here and by the lake and so we came to visit, but it wasn't like we were it wasn't like my mom, where my kids were with her all the time, you know. so ⁓

GenX Adulting (2:19:13)
Right. Right. Right.

Gina (2:19:20)
I told them Grandpa lies a lot. Grandpa lied to me and it was a very important lie. And I can't continue letting Grandpa lie to me because he's lied a lot to me. And they were like, Okay, can we go play? It wasn't, you know, it wasn't a big deal. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (2:19:21)
But you you gave your kids go ahead, sorry.

Reason I asked the age, is that the first time you'd stuck stood up for yourself, do you think? To him? To anybody.

Gina (2:19:46)
Yes, to anyone, to anybody.

The boundary. I have a tr I had a hard time with boundaries. And so after that, I had an easier time setting boundaries with people. ⁓ well, I take it back, I did set I did kinda go off on a my oldest sister one time at the beach, but ⁓ she may see this, so we won't go into that. But I did at I would I was I was nineteen and that was a rough year for me as you can imagine. Nineteen. That's when I found out, you know. And I think

GenX Adulting (2:19:52)
Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

Yeah, of course I mean yeah.

Gina (2:20:21)
You know,

but it w it it needed to happen and it was a good thing. So but that's the first time but

GenX Adulting (2:20:27)
I mean,

if you if you can stand up to him, the source of so much distrust, abandonment, s you know, affecting yourself worth all that, then probably like you just said, boundary setting after that, like was like, Okay, I can do this. Cause that would have been one of the hard ones. Yeah, you're chasing something that you can't have and you finally say enough. Yeah, done. And also it's

Gina (2:20:48)
Hm.

GenX Adulting (2:20:55)
You gave your children the conversation. Yeah, totally. That you never got. Like you were honest with them. And you s you didn't like hide it, lie about it, not talk about it and pretend like everything's normal. You at least, even though they were young and they're like, Okay, we're gonna go out and play now, you at least gave that to them. And they heard it. They heard it. Yeah. You broke the cycle. They you broke that cycle. That's cool.

Gina (2:21:00)
Yes. Yes.

Mm-hmm. Yes. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. ⁓ I will

say one thing about my dad. ⁓ he me. And

He told me he loved me all the time. And my mom didn't do that. The very first time my mom told me she loved me, I was 18. So my dad told me all the time he loved me. And so I lost that. I lost that. And that was hard to lose. But then after my mom had grandkids and softened, and she was the best grandmother in the world. After that happened, she had a lot easier time.

GenX Adulting (2:21:47)
Yeah.

Gina (2:22:00)
with those words, you know, because she said it to the grandkids all the time. So it was easier to say to us when she when she became comfortable saying those words. So we heard it, you know, a lot then. But up until then, my dad and my Aunt Joe were the ones who his sister were the I love you's. Like I don't think I ever felt well, I don't know if I ever felt unloved, but maybe

GenX Adulting (2:22:05)
Right.

Mm-hmm.

Gina (2:22:30)
I ever even felt unloved by my mom, to be honest with you. I didn't feel unloved or I didn't feel uncared for because she was, you know, she was a bookkeeper and for an oil company and ⁓ you know.

GenX Adulting (2:22:39)
Mm-hmm.

Gina (2:22:48)
We never went hungry. We always had nice clothes, even though you know a lot of more hand-me-downs from my cousin, I still always had nice clothes. ⁓ so I felt like my basic needs were definitely met. But emotionally, not having a mother that you can have a conversation with was very difficult. It's very difficult.

GenX Adulting (2:23:13)
Yeah. How do you think it's amazing when you see parents that were like that and then they're so different with their grandchildren? It's almost like it healed them in some way. The grandchildren healed them in some way. And then they can express that part of themselves. And then as a result, your relationship becomes better for it. ⁓ but having your mom be kind of emotionally unavailable growing up is what it sounds like.

Gina (2:23:24)
Mm-hmm. Yes.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

GenX Adulting (2:23:42)
did you make a huge effort to do the exact opposite as a mother to your children to make sure that you were c emotionally available? Or was that a

Gina (2:23:53)
I think I

tried. I think I tried. But I have have you know, I was undiagnosed bipolar until I was forty two.

GenX Adulting (2:24:03)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Gina (2:24:05)
So I definitely was not as emotionally available as I could have been or should have been. And I'm seeing that now. That I think a lot of times my children felt like they were taking care of my feelings or protecting my feelings because I seemed emotionally fragile. But not during marriage and stuff, like they.

GenX Adulting (2:24:23)
Right. Right.

Gina (2:24:34)
I don't think sometimes kids can see you as a human being.

GenX Adulting (2:24:39)
Right, yes. Yeah. Very much so. Yes. Yeah.

Gina (2:24:41)
Especially adult children. I'm a human being who had all

these horrible life experiences. And I'm not using it as an excuse for my the failures I have had as a mother. I'm not saying I'm not justifying it. I'm just saying I'm a freaking human being who makes mistakes, who tried with the tools they were given, tried to break cycles, definitely broke some cycles. I tell my kids I love them all the time. I was very protective. Like

To an obsessive point, like call me when you get home because and you know, don't go out in the parking lot with anyone unless someone walks you, that kind of stuff. A little overbearing that way, overprotective. ⁓ so I definitely excelled in areas that I felt were important, but maybe those weren't as important to my children as feeling like my daughter, my youngest, said to me, Sometimes I just need a mom. I don't need a counselor.

GenX Adulting (2:25:14)
Yes.

Yes, yes. Yeah.

Gina (2:25:40)
Or, you know. And my I feel felt at the time, at these these conversations, that that's what she was looking for was a counselor. Like I didn't know that she just needed to cry and and just me have me hold her and cry. I I I don't I didn't see it that way. Therefore, how could I have made that choice if I didn't so communication has been an issue, I think, with my children. ⁓

GenX Adulting (2:25:42)
Yeah.

Gina (2:26:10)
Not secrets per se, but just communication on basic what I need from you. ⁓ I've I have definitely been more open with it, what I need than they have, or I guess recently, boundaries. I have to I was pretty much boundaryless with my children. I tried a little more to be friends than a parent because

GenX Adulting (2:26:18)
Right.

Gina (2:26:36)
especially my two older children because the father situation was not a good one I felt like I had to do everything I had to be everything to them mom and dad and it was hard so have I screwed up as a mom absolutely did I love my kids do I love my kids would I do anything for my kids absolutely you know we we all make mistakes and without how what kind of mistake is there that's not

GenX Adulting (2:26:46)
Mm-hmm.

Gina (2:27:06)
Like I mean, I can understand not forgiving a parent for horrible mistakes, like not mistakes, but intentional abuse.

GenX Adulting (2:27:14)
Right, right.

Gina (2:27:15)
But I need to be seen as a human being.

GenX Adulting (2:27:20)
I think it's in what you said about not n needing they didn't like in that situation, not wanting to counselor, just wanting a mom, that's so hard to do as a mom because we want to just give them the tools to resolve the problem. It's like I can see the problem and I know what you need to do to do it to fix it. And here this is what you and so it's it's raining that it's so hard with adult children, especially reining that in and being like, Okay, they just have to go through this.

Gina (2:27:34)
Fix.

Yes.

GenX Adulting (2:27:50)
And I and

they're gonna have to and I have to wait for them to either come to me later asking for advice and then I can offer tools, or I have to watch them go through this. It's so hard. It's so it's one of the hardest people it I always tell people it doesn't end at 18. That whole thing, maybe it did for our generation. Our parents were like ⁓ but for our for us, like you said, ⁓ overprotective and all that. Say I think

Gina (2:28:07)
No.

Yes, they do.

GenX Adulting (2:28:19)
So many Gen X parents. We created helicopter parenting because we were so feral, so feral. And we look back and are like, so we know what's out there because we were out there. And so when we had kids, we're like, You're not going out there the way I went out there. Hell no. So we became very much like, I still do it. My daughter's, it was talking about she wants to go to Aruba and immediately we're like, Okay, well, watch after this and watch after. So it's I think that's

Gina (2:28:23)
yeah. Yes.

Yes.

Mm, mm mm, mm mm.

I'm the same way.

GenX Adulting (2:28:47)
Us as Gen X, we just are so overprotective and then we want to fix it because I think we just we were left to our own devices so much and suffered unnecessarily in so many different ways that I think our natural need is we don't want you to go through suffer because we felt that, you know, but but understanding but as they're adults, we have to let them sometimes and just stand back. And we are only human and this is our first time.

Gina (2:28:48)
Yeah.

Yeah.

I know.

Yes.

GenX Adulting (2:29:16)
Being it's my first time being fifty five. I've never been fifty five before. And I'm gonna probably do something wrong at least fifty times this year 'cause I've never been this age before. And so and that's true every year and understanding that. So it's hard.

Gina (2:29:18)
Yep. Yep.

Yeah.

Yes. And having children, having

children really young. ⁓ I was 24 and 26. I had no business being a parent. I had no business being a parent at that age. I should have still been out clubbing and and getting all that out of my system. And but that's what you do. You go to college, you get married, and you have babies. I am so grateful that things are not like that anymore.

GenX Adulting (2:30:01)
Yeah. I was just about to say the young the younger generations, the the women in the younger generations are approaching it totally differently and it's awesome. No, it is.

Gina (2:30:02)
My I

Now.

Thank God. I I really ⁓

the trend of not getting married, I'm all for it. If you don't want to get married, you don't need to be married. Because it's just gonna end up in disaster.

GenX Adulting (2:30:22)
Yeah. Yeah.

I think what's so great now is space has been created for women to not get married and it's not as big of a deal for this younger generation. We didn't have that, like to your point. So just that shift, you know. Or they can take longer. Yes. It's okay. Yeah.

Gina (2:30:29)
Mm-hmm.

And just to ha and to have children. To have children too. Like it's okay to not have children.

You know? Yes.

GenX Adulting (2:30:45)
It's okay.

Yeah. No, it it's it's a total shift. And I think that way also if you do decide to get married and you do decide to have children, it's because they truly want to. It's a desire that they're choosing for their life. It's not an ex a role they're thinking they need to fall into or a societal expectation. Exactly. Exactly. So I think it's wonderful. Did you have any questions before I asked my last question?

Gina (2:30:56)
Yes.

Expectation. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yep. Yes, I do too.

GenX Adulting (2:31:11)
No, no, I'm just thinking of the shared experience we all had of those ambiguous situations we all just kinda went through. Yeah. I mean sitting on your dad's lap on the visit from prison and at thirteen, you just roll with it. Yeah. And it's a collective thing we all have, those ambiguous things. Like a weird thing that you tell someone deal with no coaching. Well, if you go tell younger generations stuff like that, they look at you like you're half crazy, like you're making up a story. They can't believe it, you know.

Gina (2:31:18)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

GenX Adulting (2:31:41)
But if we would have had social media, we would have known we weren't alone. And I think that's one of the reasons also our generation is getting so strong on social media is because we're relating with each other and connecting with each other really for the first time in this way. I think it's a beautiful thing for all of us. It's very healing.

Gina (2:31:54)
Yes. I agree. I do too. I think it's great. And

you know, bringing up all the memories, it it has made me happy but sad. You know, that it's gone. It's hard.

GenX Adulting (2:32:09)
Yeah. Yeah. I know.

It's weird. It's it's weird to look back on that time because there's so many great memories and I miss so much about the pop culture of that time and just the simplicity of it before technology took over. but then I've trauma tied to it. So part of me is like, I don't want to go back to n that situation in that time, but I wish I could experience that time healthy.

Gina (2:32:20)
⁓ me too.

Yes.

That right.

Again. Me

too. me too. ⁓

GenX Adulting (2:32:38)
Again. And I think

that's that's where the whole like Gen X cruise and and the the clips on social media and all this stuff, I think that's giving us a taste of being able to experience it again on our terms in a more healthy way. Like we're in a place now where we can really experience it and there's no trauma tied to it. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. It's cool.

Gina (2:32:57)
Yes.

Exactly. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely.

It is.

GenX Adulting (2:33:06)
So my

last question is always you didn't have any other questions. No, no, I'm good. Okay. I appreciate you coming in. absolutely. My last question is always, where do you see yourself in five years?

Gina (2:33:22)
Where do I want to see myself?

GenX Adulting (2:33:25)
Yeah. Yes, yes.

Gina (2:33:31)
On a stage doing comedy.

That's what I want to do. Could do I think I can do it? And probably not. I probably think I think I'm too introverted. I think I'm too, you know, I don't know. I don't know if I could do it. But I that's what I would want to do in five within five years. You know, Leanne Morgan did it and she was 60. Are you familiar with Leanne Morgan, the comedian? She was 60 years old and did it. I'm almost 60.

GenX Adulting (2:33:43)
I think you can. you you got it.

I've heard her

I've heard the menu. Yeah, yeah.

Gina (2:34:04)
She's amazing.

She's amazing. And she's in a sitcom. And she just started this on social media in her mid-50s. So it can be done, you know? And I, yeah, I just, I don't know if I have the self-confidence to do it, but I think it can be done. I think it would be it'd be nice to go maybe do an improv class. My sister has suggested that, or something like that to.

GenX Adulting (2:34:14)
Yeah. Mm-hmm. one hundred percent. One hundred percent.

Gina (2:34:31)
but everything I do is improv. I'm not sure I need an improv class as much as I need a fear of standing in front of millions of hundreds of people class, you know? I don't think improv is would be that beneficial to me because everything I do is improv now. But

GenX Adulting (2:34:49)
No, I think you have the improv down. The Gen X cruise could be your a good first exposure to the show itself you'll get maybe you'll get some motivation and see I can do this. And yeah, when you go to their show in Dallas, but also being at the cruise, you're gonna you may be up on stage at one point. You I you might do an improv, you know.

Gina (2:35:02)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I would like to be. I mean, I would like to be.

D'a hear that, Sherri? I'm just teasing. I'm just teasing, no pressure. But I that would be something I would like to just get up there and talk for five minutes and just see if I'm see if I'm funny without being behind the camera. You know what I mean? I mean, I know I'm funny. My sister tells me I'm funny all the time, but I know I'm funny. But you know what I mean? Like, could I do this? Could I do this?

GenX Adulting (2:35:13)
Listen.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Gina (2:35:34)
all the time if I can do it this five minutes in front of these people, you know. So we'll see. We'll see.

GenX Adulting (2:35:40)
Yeah. But I I think it

starts with that. I think it starts with five minutes, like a five minute. I feel like when we were talking with even Sherri, I think the first shtick was only five or ten minutes. Like I think that's how it all kind of started. And then you're you're then you extend it, but it wasn't like walking on stage with thirty minutes of material. When we saw them, we saw them in Fort Lauderdale before they went on their cruise last year. And they all did a

a short bit, it was I think a condensed show. Yeah. The crowd hung on every word. You're going into friendly territory. Yes. So you can you can feel comfortable, I think, and confident. You're you're not gonna get shit on. You know, you can go and and feel pretty good. I I you can do it.

Gina (2:36:15)
Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Right. Yeah, that that's it would be great to be

able to do it in front of people who are there because of the Gen X experience. Like if there was a Gen X gathering here, let's say ⁓ like that, but but a different kind of party or a Gen X gathering of people my age, I could totally get up on stage and do something like that. But if it's people I don't know if they're gonna like my content or I don't know if

GenX Adulting (2:36:36)
Yeah.

Gina (2:36:53)
that I would think I'd be too scared. Like just walking to a comedy club and getting up on stage, not knowing the demographic, the you know, they're not gonna you know, they might not laugh at their mom. I don't know.

GenX Adulting (2:37:02)
Right.

But you know what? Maybe your ⁓ your gatherings that you've been doing on Facebook, maybe test out something in front of those. That's talk about friendly territory. You could just do even three minutes or five minutes in front of them. Just even not even on a stage, just stand up. Everyone's sitting down and you're standing up and do five minutes. I don't know. I you totally can do it. So I'm excited to see I'm excited to see you do because I know you're going to. So I'm looking forward to when you do it.

Gina (2:37:17)
⁓ you know what, that's not a bad idea. Yeah, yeah.

I hope so. I

GenX Adulting (2:37:35)
Honestly, we

Gina (2:37:36)
hope so. Thank you.

GenX Adulting (2:37:37)
we can't thank you enough, Gina, for spending this time with us and share. I hope so. We've loved it. We've loved it. And sharing your story, your amazing story. I mean, I think I think back to how many times you had the rug pulled out from under you and during your most formative years, to where you are now. It's quite amazing. And I know there's a lot of stuff in between there we didn't even hear that I'm sure we would be like, my God.

Gina (2:37:40)
I've enjoyed it. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Well, thank you.

Yeah.

GenX Adulting (2:38:05)
⁓ but to do what you're doing now, reaching people, connecting with people, putting stuff out there that helps people feel seen, laugh, and and knowing I know this is just gonna keep growing, it's pretty freaking cool to to it's just and as it's one Ginex woman to another, I I love that you're out there doing this and being such a great example for all of us because we haven't had that. You know what I mean?

Gina (2:38:20)
Thank you. I think it is cool.

GenX Adulting (2:38:33)
So it's so cool. And ⁓ and we really appreciate you sharing being so candid and sharing everything that you did, especially with our listeners. Cause I know there's gonna be people that feel seen from this and from things you've shared. Honestly. Yeah. Yes, yes. And so

Gina (2:38:33)
Yeah.

I hope so. That's I hope so. That's the goal, right? Well, thank you so much for having me.

It's been it's been it's been great and I hope I hope my story will help somebody. And you know.

GenX Adulting (2:39:01)
definitely.

It definitely will. So and if you are ever in our neck of the woods, we would love to have you in studio. We could do a pop culture episode. We could just do an 80s pop culture episode. But ⁓ again for our listeners, everywhere you can find Gina, if you ha don't already know where she is, will be in the show notes, all of her socials, her merch site. And I've seen some of the merch. It's really cool.

Gina (2:39:08)
Okay. Maybe so, we'll see.

thank you.

GenX Adulting (2:39:28)
⁓ that one hat is so funny. So go check out her merge site and ⁓ leave any comments or questions. She'll see them and anything you have for us. ⁓ we know we love to hear from you. So again, thank you, Gina, for spending so much time with us and with our listeners.

Gina (2:39:44)
You're welcome and thank you.

Thank you.

GenX Adulting (2:39:47)
Yep. And we will see you next time. Bye.

Gina (2:39:50)
Okay,

bye.